The Danger of the Romance Novel

Have you ever read a really good book? The kind where you become a character in the story. Like you can hear, smell, see, and touch the surroundings described to you in the pages? What about a romance novel? Have you been swept off your feet by a brave and daring knight? Or have you been charmed by that awkward kid in braces who eventually grows into a handsome man with an equally dazzling personality? Have you been the girl no one noticed, finally matched with that perfect soul mate who gives you the ultimate combination of intrigue and comfort?

I have.

In fact, romance novels and romantic comedies have always been my book or movie of choice. It’s almost impossible to leave the theater feeling happy after watching a movie like Crazy Stupid Love or When Harry Met Sally, or even the Notebook. A romantic story is adventurous, brave, hope-inducing, and almost always has a happy ending… what’s so wrong with that? I hadn’t given it much thought until I heard this question. “What is porn for women?” Porn is a great divider in many marriages—and let’s face it—is predominantly geared towards men. Men are visual creatures, and because of this, easily fall into the trap of sexy women in a visual fantasy designed for male pleasure. But what do women get off on? Women are emotional beings. We desire deeper connections and relationships. We want to care and be cared for. So the answer to the previous questions is, “The romance novel.” This has been demonstrated by the astounding popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s not like EL James is some prodigal author. The only thing the author has done is play to our culture, and some of our misguided desires.

Our culture views marriage through distorted lenses. If you disagree with me, please feel free to reference the 40 to 50% divorce rate in the United States. Children are taught the wonders of marriage from early on. Every single popular princess story involves a beautiful girl getting married to a prince and living “happily ever after.” Children are taught that getting married to that one perfect man that will satisfy each of their longings. We’re told don’t get married young because your twenties are for being selfish. We’re taught that if it doesn’t work out with someone you can simply divorce them and look for the new solution (a man) to your problem. What we should be telling children is that there is no such thing as a “soul mate.”

Each and every one of us is flawed. There is no way that two flawed people can come together to form a perfect union. It is impossible. God is the only one who can join a couple in a perfect union. This means that He is the most important aspect of marriage. When we recognize we can’t build a “perfect” marriage on our own, it’s much easier to love our spouses for the people they are, instead of the people we wish they could be, or the perfect men they could be as depicted by a novel.

When we read a novel, part of it takes hold in our hearts. We see a man perform a grand gesture, and we think, “Why can’t my husband do that?” Or we hear of a friend’s husband who always brings home flowers, and we think, “Hey, some flowers would be nice.” This hurts us and our marriages. It hurts our future spouses, because they have a fictional character to live up to, and they don’t even know it.

So put those romance novels down. Because even though having someone to do dishes with doesn’t sound good on paper, it makes for a hell of a good life.

Rewarding Children for Participation

"It takes a village to raise a child," that's how the saying goes. And since it takes a village, the village all thinks they can have a say about how to raise children. I've read countless blogs, articles, social media posts all dedicated to raising the perfect child who will never talk back and will not grow up to be a little you-know-what. "Don't spoil them!" they say. "Don't give them too much sugar!" they say. "Don't let them eat GMOs!" they say... and God forbid, "Don't give them medals just for participating!"

Just for a minute, I want to take a second to think back a few years ago to my experience in high school and junior high sports. As a student athlete, I was never bad at sports, but I was never great either. Just like the majority of other students, I went to practice for an hour or more at least five days a week, bought the team tshirt, had my parents make snacks to bring to tournaments, went to all the games whether I was allowed to play or not. Sports was at least a part time job in junior high and seemed like a full-time job in high school. Many times, it was a thankless, overrated, tiring, draining, and depressing job. Other times, I had some of the most fun times I've ever had. So, what was the purpose of all of this?

Athletics, and other extracurricular activities are supposed to be fun. They foster teamwork, team spirit, humility (supposedly), work ethic, and most importantly: life-long health and fitness. So if athletics are so fun and healthy, why are so many children overweight? Why are many kids opting out of participating in sports, or choosing to specialize in only one sport?

In junior high, I ran the 2-mile. Since I was the only one dumb enough to participate at such a young age, I usually got a top-three place at the meet, and was rewarded for my placing... not because I was wonderful at it, but because I was brave enough to train, and eventually race in front of onlookers. In high school, I ran the two mile, and came in dead last every time. What did I get? A pity clap from a few parents at the end of a greuling 17 minutes and 9 seconds, a pat on my back from a coach who had other athletes to attend to, and sore muscles. Guess how long I ran the 2-mile in high school. I raced and performed to the best of my abilities, but myself and the other average, hardworking students saw others excel almost effortlessly. They had natural talent, and were probably working just as hard as we were, but they got all of the glory, and all of the rewards.

Someday, God willing, I will have children of my own, and for that I am scared to death. I am afraid that one day, my child might decide he likes tennis, but be discouraged because he isn't a star athelete. I'm afraid my girl will love to cheerlead, but won't make the cut because she's a little heavy, or doesn't have the right last name. I'm afraid that my children might give up on fun team sports because they were taught that you should only be rewarded for winning, and not for hard work.

It's great to excel at something and to pursue that, but it's even greater to try and maybe even fail at something. I can't imagine something that takes more courage than a young kid trying something that they might not be good at, working hard to improve, and showcasing their effort in front of a society that only cares about you if you win. That is bravery, and that deserves to be rewarded.

College--Where have all the manners gone?

Students are paying more than ever to go to college. In fact, the average rate of tuition in the US has almost tripled since 1980. So with this unwarranted (and by unwarranted, I mean the price has increased faster than the rate of inflation, with little or no improvement in the quality of college education) rise in tuition, my immediate thought is that students would value the item they are buying (education) now more than ever. Surprisingly that doesn't seem to be the case; only 59% of students who started college full time, finished a degree within six years. Why is this? Is college more difficult? Is it because most students are having their parents pay for at least some of their education?

So what does this along with a general decline in American morals and standards mean for the typical college classroom? Well, it means students feel entitled to respect from their professors, without needing to give any respect in return. It means we feel we pay enough to be able to do whatever we want whenever we want. It means, we don't care what we do, because we didn't make the personal investment and therefor won't treasure our education as much as if we had paid for it ourselves. It means... we need to learn a few things about how to act in a college classroom.

1) It is not okay to wear your hat indoors; I'm talking to you, guy in the ten gallon cowboy hat in front of me, blocking my view of the whiteboard.
2) No, you should not chew Copenhagen in class.
3) For that matter, you should not spit your nasty Copenhagen spit into your old Mountain Dew bottle.
4) Yes, your talking to your friends is distracting everyone around you, even if it's a whisper.
5) Leaving your headphones in so you can only halfway pay attention to the lecture is not polite! Especially when you leave "Baby Got Back" on loud enough for the person sitting next to you to hear it.
6) Sitting on the outside of the aisle when there are still plenty of empty seats in the middle of the row is not okay... unless you like having everyone's butt in your face as they climb over you to get to an empty seat.
7) Contrary to popular belief, you shouldn't wear what your wore to bed to class. And yes, we can tell that those crumpled, paint-stained sweat pants are sleep-worthy and comfortable, but your professor dressed up and you owe the same respect.
8) Don't put your dirty shoes on the chair in front of you; someone has to sit there. Classroom does not equal living room!
9) Just because you're allowed to text, doesn't mean that you should.
10) Bullying, gossip, and talking behind someones back didn't suddenly become okay.


There are a lot of great things about my generation... we can turn on a computer without asking for help for one! But, as I'm sitting in class with all of the "bright minds of the future" around me, I have to wonder... where have all the manners gone?... and how can we get them back?

Color-Blind

Why am I so angry?

I'm not angry because some people judge me because of my skin tone. I'm not angry because some people judge me based on my weight. I'm not angry because some people judge me based on my marital status/age. I'm not angry because some people judge me because I'm a woman. I'm not even angry that I can't eat ice cream without getting fat.

I'm angry because society is taking away my color-blindness.

For those of you who interpret things literally, no, I do not see only gray. I see only people. Lately in the news we've been besieged with stories about a young man's death. Michael Brown, from Ferguson, Missouri was shot by a police officer, resulting in his death. Since the tragic incident, I've seen numerous headlines on national papers, K-State's college paper, and Facebook about his death. The hashtag "#ameriKKKa" was even thrown around several times. This was all coming from people angry that he was shot. They weren't angry that a young man was dead. They weren't angry that a young boy was tangled up in crime. They were angry because a white cop shot an unarmed black boy.

(For anyone who disagrees, did you see the national outrage about this case on your Facebook timeline? Or this case? Did you see looting, did you see Barack Obama give a speech about it?)

In light of this situation, there are several things we all need to understand.

1) Racism, or "color vision" is not born, it's created.
When was the last time you've seen a little kid refuse to play with someone because of their skin color? They might not play with another kid because the other kid is smelly, isn't nice, doesn't have the same sense of humor, and so on, but I've never seen a kid--unprompted by adults--say they didn't like another kid because of their color. Children are products of their upbringing. If they are raised to be prejudiced against others for whatever reason, they will be prejudiced against others for whatever reason.

2) Prejudice is not only exercised because of skin color.
People are judged for various reasons. It is not unique to be judged. It is not unique to have someone make an opinion about you because of the way you look. I can guarantee that someone will have an opinion on you for the way you look, dress, act, talk, marry, walk, believe, and so on.

3) Some people are prejudiced.
No one is all good, or all bad. Each of us has undesirable traits that we need to work on. Some people are genuinely racist for whatever reason, and this is WRONG. There's no two ways about it. If you are racist, you are wrong. But, it is also wrong to dislike someone for being fat. I've been made fun of, called names, and have had judgement made about me for my weight. That is not okay either. My point is, there are people everywhere who will find a reason not to like you. Some of these people may have more power than others (like police officers). Yes, police officers are people too. There are police officers who are racist, and there are police officers who are color-blind. They exert more power over society. That does not mean that people are being unfairly represented. It means, that some police officers are downright crappy. (Sorry for the language!) I know that I've probably gotten out of some tickets because I'm a young women, and some men have gotten stuck with some tickets because they're men. Is that okay? Why isn't that a problem? Isn't that a prejudice?

4) Racism can go both ways.
When I'm looking through scholarships, I'm unable to apply for many of them. It's not because I'm unqualified. It's not because I don't have financial need. It's because I'm white. Let me tell you, that feels pretty crappy. My husband experiences even more of this as a white man. He misses out on the scholarships that you can only apply for as a woman. Didn't Martin Luther King Jr. say he wanted people judged on the content of their character? So then, why is it that I can't join a black fraternity or sorority? Why can't I join the black student union? Why can't I apply for black/Hispanic/Asian scholarships? These things should be based on merit and need. Instances such as these only promote color-vision. They don't promote improvement or innovation in society; they take away from it. Personally, I want someone who really needs a scholarship getting it. If someone has better grades, more extracurricular involvement, more need, and more obstacles, I hope they get it, but it can never be fair with this system.

5) Talking about race only spreads racism.

I feel guilty for writing this article. Why? Because when you read this--I'm talking about you Mom and Dad!--you've thought about your skin color. You've thought about the skin colors of others. You've thought about black and white and fat and skinny and male and female. Have you thought about "human?" Have you thought about how horrible it would be for the family of a young boy to lose their son? Have you thought of how terrible it must be for people to feel bullied because of something they have absolutely no control over? Maybe. Maybe not. The less we talk and think about race, the less we talk about the exterior, and the more we start to see people.

I am a person. I am kind, impatient, intelligent, ambitious, opinionated, outspoken, thoughtful, among so many other things. This is how I want to be viewed, and this is how I want to view others. Don't be ashamed of being white or black or yellow or red or brown; don't even think about it! I will not apologize for being white, or so called white-privilege, because for me, it doesn't exist. You are you, fearfully and wonderfully made. I owe it to you and to myself to love like Christ did: unconditionally, so I will fight to remain color-blind despite all this garbage the media is feeding me.

I choose MY choice

In today's society, there are a few pretty basic decisions every person will hit in their life if they live until old age.

1) Should I graduate from high school?
2) Should I go to college?
3) If I go to college what will I major in?
4) If I major in that, where will I work?
5) If I decide to work in that field where will I live?
6) If I live there how will that affect my family?
7) Will I get married?
8) If I get married will I have children?
9) If I have children how will I raise them?
10) Where will I live to have my children go to school?
11) When will I retire?
12) If I retire how will I pay for it?
13) Where will I retire.

This is by no means a comprehensive list, but I think it covers some of the big ones. The main thing I'm trying to show is how much of that list happens before you're 25. In my life, I've already had to make decisions on about half of that list. I'm sure I'm not alone in this. The pressure  is insane. It's difficult enough to wonder if you're pleasing yourself, another thing all together if you're taking into consideration the opinion of family or friends--as most of us do.

One person I really admire in this regard is my brother, Dakota. Dakota is so intelligent that he can excel at anything he tries, he's also such a gifted artist that he could easily become a professional. All of us (his family) expected him to go to college, but he said he wasn't interested. We tried to persuade him. He still said no. He wanted to take time to just relax after the rigor of high school. So, he got a job. He is providing for himself. He is a hard worker, and his boss loves having him as an employee. I'm proud of him for that. He stood by what he thought was best for him while everyone else was telling him to do the opposite. Now, it is my time to take a leaf out of Dakota's book.

I started college majoring in animal sciences with the hopes of becoming a large animal veterinarian. I love working with cattle and I assumed this major would utilize my intelligence to its maximum potential while still allowing me to do something I love. I excelled in my first year and a half of college. With a 4.0, campus involvement, and undergraduate research, I was practically guaranteed admission to vet school. But I started feeling a nudge pulling me away from vet school. So, I thought, okay, I really liked AI (artificial insemination). I'll go to school for animal reproduction. Still science. Still cattle. The last semester before I studied abroad, I took animal A&P. I appreciated that class and it's challenges more than any class I have taken as an undergraduate. What really caught my attention was studying the nervous system, particularly when we spoke about how it affects mood and can relate to psychiatric disorders. This was quite a leap from reproduction, but still doable. Many vet schools offer masters degrees in neuroscience. That's a good path for me, I thought. My life was turned upside down when I studied abroad.

The six months I spent in other countries truly affected me in a very deep and meaningful way. I'm not sure whether the experience changed me, or forced me to accept myself as I really am. The longer I spent abroad, the less interested I became in the academic path I was on. By the time I returned to the US, I had no idea what job I wanted to pursue. As a planner, it was very difficult for me not to have a plan. So, I started looking for one.

A couple of weeks ago, after hours of Googling, I found it. A feeling came over me... it was a good feeling of relief as well as purpose. The career I found was "Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse." I feel it fits my personality and skills well, and Ty agrees.

What does this mean for us?

Well, I'll graduate in May with a Bachelors of Science in Animal Sciences and Industry (and honestly, people are technically animals). After graduation, I will start in an accelerated BSN (Bachelors of Science in Nursing) program that will take anywhere for a year to fifteen months to complete. K-State doesn't have a nursing program, so we will have to relocate. Ty will continue his classes online. My fingers are crossed that Tucker will still want to live with us once we move. :)

Making a decisions like this--a change really--is scary. It will affect both my husband and I for the rest of our lives. When changing majors after a bachelors degree, it's easy to feel like I wasted three years of my life on an education I won't use. I have to keep reminding myself that this time in my life has been extremely valuable. I've learned more about animals that I love, I was married, I study abroad, and had so many opportunities through the college of agriculture that I might not have had in another program. Also, I was lucky enough to (finally) discover what I currently think is my calling in life.

Did I get mugged?

This morning, I woke up with a sore, stiff body. I rolled my shoulders and heard a few cracks. I stretched my aching back. I looked down at my arms to see a few bruises... Did I get mugged?

Or did I have the time of my life playing volleyball?

This week has been a really tough week for Ty and I, especially me. I have been busy every night after school with activities or homework, and Ty has been studying, and working diligently as a sales intern. Add to that the stress of an impending graduation and working out, you have a nervous breakdown waiting to happen!

Friday night was a really special night for me. Over the summer I was awarded a scholarship from CHS through the Department of  Agriculture Economics at K-State. To honor the other students who received awards and myself, Farm Bureau in Manhattan, KS hosted a banquet. How boring, right? We all know these things can drag out, have bad food, and even worse jokes. But, I actually had a lot of fun. Both Tucker and Ty came with me and between the lame jokes, we made even lamer ones. Plus, we got to have some pretty great pie.

I mean, who can dislike a K-State Cheese Cake?

The banquet ended at 7:30. Afterwards a man came to speak with me and asked me which "Hoss I belonged to." Apparently he knew my grandpa and told me what great people the Hosses are. That made me really happy.

So, with a belly full of catered food and a smile on my face, I got to thinking about what could make that night better. Tucker told me it was more ice cream, and he tested the theory. haha. But, I thought volleyball! It's by far my favorite sport. Ty and I called up one of our friends we met in Prague, and the three of us went to the Rec.

Usually there's a bunch of people playing games of volleyball and if you ask nicely they'll let you join in on the game. When we went there were three other girls there playing already. They were students at the vet school, really great at volleyball, and very friendly. They asked us to play with them. Soon, three guys showed up and asked to join. Before we knew it, we had five on four and the game was really fun. We played a few matches without keeping score before the first few girls had to get back home to study.

Before hardly any time had passed at all, three more people joined us; two guys and one girl. We were back to where we started. One girl kept score during that game, but to the rest of us, it didn't matter. We were playing a game for fun, score or no score. Time flew by, and before we knew it, it was eleven o'clock. (AKA, wayyyyyy past bedtime!) 

I'm hoping we'll be able to make time for something like this again, and find such wonderful people to play volleyball with, but my body is disagreeing!

Minimum Wage

By: Ty Stelting

When I think of minimum wage, I think of jumping off point or starting off easy. When I think of fast food or gas station attendant, I think of "how can I move on?"

Imagine a world where you could go and do dishes in the back of a restaurant and get $12.50/hr in western Kansas. Life is easy and this job takes the skill of working a dishwasher. It was a two day training and you need nothing else but that. Your boss can no longer give you raises but that's okay, you can afford things that you couldn't before. This goes on for a month and start to realize that the food at the restaurant is getting more expensive. In fact, you notice everything is getting more expensive. Soon enough you're back to where you started and all your friends start complaining with you that this pay isn't enough either. You start to think..."I dropped out of college for this job?" "I have a car I can no longer afford?" "Why are they cutting my hours?" "All my favorite little stores aren't hiring me and the restaurant went out of business." Why is employment so hard to find? How come the welfare system isn't giving me more than before?

Well here are the reasons. We now have a surplus of unskilled laborers in the world who expect more than before. The restaurant will not cut into their already slim profits to accommodate the new wages. They have to charge more for their food to spread their wage accrual. Taxes are higher because employers are obligated to pay a percentage not a fixed amount. Employers will work more hours by themselves to cut taxes. They cut your hours and work everyday. Stress to raise prices lowers demand and they lose money below the amount of their variable costs. It would have been cheaper to not sell anything or even open the building. The restaurant shuts down along with three other businesses. The only places to stay open are those people who had senior workers or workers who were already close to that high minimum wage. They aren't hiring on trainees and will not be needing any more help. You are out of the job, along with your other friends. Life is no longer easy for you. The government has to pay their workers more to match inflation and cut into welfare. They manage to keep it at the same level but inflation has caused your expenses to skyrocket.

The market then later stabilizes and now instead of a dollar menu there is $3.50 menu with miniburgers that taste even more like cheap animal product.

We notice the highest rise in inflation and crap is just more expensive. Skilled labor is still more desirable and everything...is...the....same.

What did we gain from raising minimum wage everywhere?...
Nothing.
A lesson in economics maybe.

I want to give you the people who are like..."it works in big cities Ty, why can't it work everywhere?"

First of all, it isn't working in big cities.
Lets just say I move to Seattle where I can work at McDonald's for $11.50/hr and life is affordable barely...
What is my incentive to go to college, my parents cover my insurance, cover me when I'm short because I partied too much that week, and my work is stressful but doesn't need school so I'm good...

What are we fostering? We are allowing our next generation to think that minimum wage is good enough...that they don't need education? How can this be good for our next generation? Life isn't about taking the easy way everyday. It's about the constant strength we get from struggles we face everyday. And the struggle of when to flip a burger isn't it.

I do not want to sound like people who are working for minimum wage are stupid and irresponsible. I enjoyed working for low pay because it was money that I needed.

I want to stop the repercussions from raising minimum wage and increasing the prices of everything. I want kids to aim higher and not have to pay for the inflated college prices. (School tuition will be less attractive if we have higher inflation.) It makes unemployment rates higher because of a business being able to have six workers they can only hire three.

Consumers start looking for the cheapest thing because the skilled pay is lagging for the first 6-8 months. We go through a recession because no one wants to loan out money because money will be worth less later due to inflation over time.

Raising minimum wage does nothing. For anyone.

Why I Chose to Dress and THINK Modestly.

Going clothes shopping is, and always has been a nightmare for me, but lately it's reached epic proportions of horrible. Why? 1) I'm in college. My money is technically the tax-payer's, and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't appreciate me spending it on clothes. 2) My body is not shaped like other women's bodies. None of our bodies are made the same, therefore, 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14 doesn't match everyone. I AM NOT AN EVEN NUMBER!... and also not even tempered. (Ha, welcome to punland everyone!) 3) I do not feel morally comfortable wearing about 99% of the clothes for sale in stores today. The other 1% of decent clothes aren't cute and usually way too expensive.

A few years ago, I had a talk with some of the younger girls in my family. It was fair-time, and they were not dressed modestly. I used a famous, cliche line, "You're sending out the wrong message." I'd heard this phrase a million times before. These girls were dressed like the majority of college girls dress now: booty shorts, tank tops with ample cleavage showing. Not only were they dressed in a revealing manner, they were putting themselves out there: making eyes at boys, flipping their perfectly groomed hair around, and doing other provocative things. Certainly I didn't like them acting that way, but I was also concerned for their safety. In a small town, fair always brings out the good, the bad, and the ugly in people, especially men. Recently, I started wondering why women dress immodestly. That may seem silly, but I feel like there's a deeper reason than just "to get a boyfriend" or "to get attention."

In the media, there's been an increasing trend towards making yourself happy at all costs. You want to have an abortion? It's your choice. You want to sleep around? It's your choice. You want to marry anyone at anytime? That's your choice. You want to smoke pot? That's your choice. You want to drink 'til you drop? That's fine, just don't drive afterward. There's also a trend towards vanity.

How many "perfect" women stare at you from magazine covers? How many perfectly muscled men flex on posters at the gym? In all honesty, how many famous people are there that don't look like they're ready to go run a marathon while batting their full lashes without even breaking a sweat? In my opinion, a pretty large percentage. So we've created a dilemma for ourselves without knowing it: We can do anything we want, and a person can't have a whole, healthy, successful life without a "pleasing" physical appearance.

In such a vain setting, how are we supposed to receive any validation to remind ourselves that we are on the right track to blissful, consequence free, and "beautiful" life? We need to look to other people. This is especially evident on Facebook, where people constantly post about their lives, many times looking for validation. ("Went for a run today!" "-Insert inspirational quote here-" along with a heavily edited selfie.) But here's an interesting thought:

You can be immodest while dressing modestly, and you can be modest while dressing immodestly.

When I was in high school, I wanted boys to notice me. I cared whether or not a certain boy thought I was cute, and it would destroy me when I found out a boy liked another girl more than me or thought she was more attractive. I cared about what other boys thought of me so much that I developed a crush on a boy just because he was the only guy to tell me that I looked beautiful at prom. If that one compliment made me feel good, can you imagine how I felt when no one would compliment me? I was dressing modestly, but I was immodest with my emotions.

Back to the story about these girls in my family. One of the girls dressed in a very cute, and modest outfit the next day and they went to hang out together with some of our other family. Upon running into an adult in our family, one of the girls mentioned the talk I had with them, and the adult said, "Go upstairs and change into the shortest pair of shorts you have." The adult elaborated to this young girl, saying that she should wear whatever makes her feel confident, and she shouldn't care about what anyone else has to say about it. (There it is again, our culture of "do whatever makes you happy at any cost.") 

But she did care. 

Is it really plausible that women walk around leaving so little to the imagination because they had some mysterious inclination to dress akin to Victoria Secret models? No. Women dress that way because that is how they get attention. Any time we went to the club, the girls who dressed, or acted immodestly always had a dance partner. One of my good friends, who is the nicest girl I've ever met, but always dressed and acted modestly was never asked to dance. In my opinion, the girl most worthy of attention wasn't receiving any, and she was okay with it. The more I look for similar situations, the more I see them.

I chose to dress modestly because I decided to save my body for my husband. My body is a temple, and I decided to treat it as such. I decided to act modestly because my heart is for God, and now it is for God and my husband. I derive my self worth from the fact that I am wonderfully and fearfully made, from the good deeds I do, and from the love in my heart, and not from compliments--or the lack thereof--from other people.

In closing, I'd like to share a quote from my favorite author:

"I’ve got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don’t want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons.” 

-JK Rowling

The Myth of "Community" in Crossfit

Interaction with other people is one of our most basic human needs. For many people, a large part of living a healthy and happy life is developing and sustaining intimate relationships with friends and family. It's been scientifically proven that babies and children suffer developmentally with a lack of human interaction. With relationships being so paramount, it's no surprise that one of the premier advertising strategies for Crossfit is to portray a "Box" (gym) as a community.

Supporters of Crossfit preach that the Box is a judgement-free zone where Crossfit members will actively encourage each other to perform at their best. It is drilled into the consumers that in Crossfit, everyone is competing against themselves and not others. This advertising scheme is in place to draw people to the Box, and make them believe that the Box is more than just your average, run of the mill gym.

Crossfit boxes are much more than your average, run of the mill gym. Every day, a different workout is provided that can be scaled to difficulties ranging from beginner to advanced to competitive. At the Crossfit Box we attend, there are women seven months pregnant, people fifty or more pounds overweight, people of average health, and elite Crossfitters who train for Crossfit competitions. Crossfit serves all of these people and serves them well. In my month at Crossfit785 I have become stronger and leaner than I was when I started.  But, I can't say that the community boasted about on online forums exists because of Crossfit.

Crossfit785 has roughly 100 members. Each class is limited to 21 people, and there are about seven classes offered throughout the course of the day. Some people consistently attend at the same time every day, and others don't. I typically go to either the 5:30 AM or 5:30 PM classes. In my opinion, that's pretty ample time to be able to make a judgement about the Crossfit community in the Box I attend, and this is my observation.

People in Crossfit are just people.

These are the same people you'll find at work, school, the grocery store, or a restaurant.

People form cliques.

Once a close group of friends forms, the members of said group can be pretty unwilling to let someone new in. Making new friends is tedious, and if someone has a few friends they go to Crossfit with regularly, it's pretty unlikely they're going to make great friends with someone else simply because they already have friends!

People are competitive.

Period. One workout program typically won't change someone's entire way of life. Some people find validation in competing against others. The other day this guy mentioned that he always wanted to finish in the top half of the class, and if he would finish in the bottom half it would upset him... that doesn't necessarily go along with the doctrine of competing for personal records.

People can be mean.

Some people can be flat out rude. They might have had a bad day, or maybe they're just mean all the time. People don't stop being mean just because they're working out.

People can be really nice.

There are nice people everywhere. In our Box, we've been welcomed by several people, and even made a couple of acquaintances. Our coaches are eager to give us advice, and correct our form when necessary (read: a lot). One or two people might offer us encouragement every now and then.


My point? Community is not inherent only to Crossfit. Community is inherent to any place where roughly the same group of people go to the same place with common purpose. In any community there are nice people, mean people, funny people, and strange people. It takes all sorts of people to form a community. But, that can happen at a regular gym, at a yoga class, a book club, or any host of activities where people regularly come together. So, don't join Crossfit only for the community, because just like anything. "community" is an extremely romanticized word. Join Crossfit because you want superior coaching, a regular workout plan, and have a desire to get in the best shape of your life, not because you want to be a part of a community.

Do as I say, not as I do.

"Do as I say, not as I do."
This sentence sounds so ridiculous, but how many times have you seen it in action? It's the type of phrase that people never admit to, but instead proclaim loudly without words in their day to day lives.

In parents: "Don't drink." "Don't do drugs." "Pick up after yourself." "Don't bully other kids."
In churches: "Don't judge others." "Love everyone." "Don't have premarital sex."
In teachers: "Do your homework on time, so I can give it back to you a week later than I said I would."
In bosses: "Come to work on time." "Work hard." "Don't get on Facebook at work."

It seems like every turn we get to, we're being told one thing, and shown another thing. This has left me, and I'm sure a multitude of other people wondering what to do in life. What adults should I model myself after? What members of the congregation should I model myself after? What teachers should I really revere and respect? Surely not everything I'm being told/shown to do is correct. How is a child or teenager or even young adult supposed to sift through all of these examples and decipher what type of life they should lead?

I'm challenging myself, and those around me to lead authentic lives, because people are watching whether you know it or not. Your peers in class, colleagues at work, your children or grandchildren, your employees, the children of others in grocery stores, your employees, everywhere there are people, you are being noticed!

Much easier said than done.

How easy is it to give into our vices at a difficult hour? Hard day at work? Drink a beer, right before telling your child not to go out and drink at a party. Frustrated with a lack of productivity in employees? Ask them to work harder right before going into your office for hours without interacting or working with them.

But, I also count on the examples of those around me to help lead myself and my future children. Someday--far in the future--my children will begin dating. They won't just model themselves after Ty and I, they will model themselves after the interactions of young couples in their schools. I hope the other young couples can help set a good, wholesome standard for them to live up to. I, personally, like to see older married couples still living a good life, so I can know what to look forward to or work towards in the future. (Our grandparents have done a wonderful job of this!)

This is a call to action, not words. Instead of posting to your friends on Facebook, find a cause and work, so others can see you in your quest and become interested. Be the man or woman you want your children to become and treat others in the way you expect to be treated. To quote Ghandi for about the millionth time: "Be the change you wish to see in the world."

The Big "M"

Today in Public Health Biology, my teacher was telling us that in the '40s, people just didn't talk about cancer. In fact, it took a brave and informative surgeon general "C. Everett Koop" to start the discussion. Now, cancer awareness is all over the place. No longer is it "The big 'C.'"

Please excuse me while I compare cancer to being married in college.

There's a pretty specific range of reactions I receive when I tell someone I have "The big 'M.'" It's undoubtedly some variation of:

"Why?"
"How old are you?" followed by "You're so young!"
"That's awwwwesome." Followed by uncomfortable silence.

Unless the person I'm speaking to is an anomaly or also married, things become pretty awkward after that conversation. I hope someday I can be the "C. Everett Koop" surgeon general of marriage, because man is this getting old. So, in the spirit of all these blog posts floating around, I present:

Seven things everyone should know about young married women.

1) Yes, I know I got married young. We don't need anyone to remind us that people won't support our union or think of it as commonplace until we hit some magic age barrier that supposedly makes us capable of being married.

2) Yes, I married my high school sweetheart. Since you already kindly asked me how old I am, you know that I'm not old enough to have married anyone OTHER than my high school sweetheart. It's cute... I know.

3) No, I'm not dropping all of my life goals to be a MRS. I'm simply factoring a MR into the equation.

4) Being married IS awesome, and not in an uncomfortable tone. I love having someone to share all of life's precious memories with. That includes the good times, bad times, sickness, health, richer and poorer.

5) I can be married without having student loans paid off, a bachelor's degree, a mortgage, or a 401 K. Marriage is about the commitment and love in your heart and not the size of a diamond or a bank account.

6) "What do your parents think about you being married?" Is not a relevant question to ask a young married person. Do you think if I based my decision to get married on what my parents think that I would be mature enough to be married?

7) Your posts about "40 reasons why you should be single in college" hurts my feelings. I don't insult people for being single in college, and it would be nice to have the same respect.

We all find our "one and only" at different times in life. I know many people that met their spouse as young as fourteen or fifteen. I've also met people that wait until their late thirties to get married. That's great too. The important thing to keep in mind is that marriage is a life-long commitment, which means that it should be--and is for the most part--entered into with great thought and care. The big "M" is also something very personal to the two people getting married, and scrutiny or judgement is not kind and frankly not welcome. So, next time you post something about how great being single is or meet someone married young, just remember that you don't have to promote your way of life, by putting another way of life down.

Lessons Learned

I used to be one of those people that didn't like going to church, not because I didn't have faith, but I didn't like going. In my opinion, Smalltown, USA is a difficult place to be part of a church going community. Everyone knows those people that go to church just for show, and it's hard not to become that way in a small town for several reasons, the biggest reason being this: your peers know whether or not you're going to church every weekend. Also, while there's a great many churches in different denominations, there might be only one Catholic church, or one Baptist church, and while faith is about a relationship and not a religion, the teachings among different religions vary pretty greatly despite being based on the same book.

So, a while ago, Ty and I went "church shopping." We went to some great churches, and we went to some scary churches. (Imagine being verbally bullied into tithing, or seeing the preacher sing into a television screen in an empty room.) Finally we decided on two that we really like, and they are Catholic churches: St. Isidore's, and St. Thomas More. We go to either one depending on what mass time we can make it to. We fit in well at St. Thomas More because it's geared more toward family where St. Isidore's is mainly student based.

Today, we heard an interesting sermon at St. Thomas More. Our deacon spoke about what to do when you see someone doing something you know is wrong.  My first thought was, "I can barely keep myself in check, and now I have to watch out for others?" And then, "How am I supposed to go to my friends and tell them they're doing something wrong?" And then, "How do I not be a hypocrite?"

Well, here's my interpretation. We're all sinners. We all mess up. Frequently. But, some of us are better in some areas than others. For example, Ty is much better at patience than I am, that doesn't mean he has it all figured out, but it does mean that he can keep me in check with my patience. Actually, I welcome this. I know it will be really difficult to accept the criticisms constructively, but I hope to find a way.

It's a lot to think about for me, and I'm really nervous to apply this in my life because it's such a difficult concept. One day at a time, I will work to master this and other things we are taught to do. Will I ever be perfect? No. Will I ever stop trying? No.

The biggest disease affecting twenty-somethings.

"Your twenties are for you!"
"Don't settle down, this time is about discovering yourself, making mistakes, and doing what YOU want!"
"Don't get married! You need to date around!"
"Don't settle with your first boyfriend, date guys, LOTS of guys, so you know what you want!"
"If you ever can't pay for something, Mom and Dad are here to help you. ALWAYS!"
"Don't get a job in college! I want you to 'focus on your studies!'"

If I did a search on advice for college-aged twenty-somethings, I would be besieged with blog posts restating the previous statements. If you're friends with a twenty-something on Facebook you've probably seen posts/pictures/blogs about what the 20's are for. I.e. "46 reasons to be single in college." "23 Reasons not to get engaged before 23" "40 reminders for your College Years." OR the pictures that say, "All my friends are getting married and here I am -insert something "better" here-." OR the posts that complain about someone posting too many pictures of their babies/dogs/husbands etc.

Well, let me tell you, this selfishness is the biggest disease affecting twenty-somethings. It is making our twenty-somethings lazy, self-serving, and immature. People my age will soon be in charge of government, health care, education, and many other important aspects of society, and we need to be constantly working to become strong, mature, and selfless adults that can lead out country to prosperity.

So, here is my list of "Eight things to remember in your twenties."

1) Once you turn 18 your parents owe you nothing.
Your parents have an inherent obligation to support you financially and emotionally until you turn eighteen. That's a given, but once you have moved out and are on your own, you are responsible for yourself. Your parents don't have to pay for your car, your college, or for you to go out with your friends, and they shouldn't have to.

2) Until you're totally independent, your parents get a "say" in your life.
Number one being said, I know how difficult it is to become independent in college. If your parents are still providing for you like you are a child, then they reserve the right to control certain aspects of your life.

3) Your twenties are a time to become fiscally responsible.
Sure, your parents might be paying for your tuition and a little spending money, but what happens when you graduate and you realize you have no savings and debt to top it off? Even if you're lucky enough to land a job right after graduation, you still have to pay for moving expenses, and let me tell you, that's not cheap! So, GET A JOB. Even if it's just a few hours a week it will go a long way toward helping you become self-sufficient.

4) You are responsible for your actions whether you are five, twenty, forty-five, or ninety years old.
Almost all of the articles that are popular encourage twenty-somethings to go crazy whether it's with alcohol, food, or with the opposite sex. When you're standing before God when you die, do you think he's going to say, "Ahhh, that's okay, you were twenty!"? I don't think so. That's not even mentioning the earthly consequences of our actions.

5) The decisions you make now will follow you for the rest of your life.
If you are irresponsible, my guess is you won't be building a good foundation for the rest of your life. If you work hard and smart in your twenties, you'll be setting yourself up for a great future in your thirties, instead of  spending your thirties doing damage control.

6) Promiscuity is never okay.
Let me introduce you to the duct tape theory. Every time you put duct tape on something, a little bit of the adhesive comes off. The more you move your duct tape around the less sticky it becomes, until eventually it won't be able to stick anymore. The same is true with relationships--especially physical relationships. There are serious physical repercussions that come along with sexual activity: namely parenthood and STIs. You have a responsibility to yourself and the person you're dating to be responsible and not create unneeded baggage for your future spouses.

7) College is not intended to be a party.
Partying is talked about just as much or more than classes, and that's sad. If people got just as excited for classes and homework as they did for the parties, our world would be an entirely different place. I'm not saying don't go to parties, but I am saying be smart about it. Your education should always be your first priority.

8) Your representation of yourself matters.
One day, you're going to apply for jobs. Do you think you're going to get a good reference from the professor of a class that you always went to five minutes late, hungover, and in sweatpants? Or if you always talked with a neighbor in class instead of taking notes? Probably not. There's a good chance a possible employer might know a professor you took classes under and call them to check on you whether or not you listed that professor as a reference. Be respectful in class, no matter how uninteresting or unimportant you may find it.


I'm sure plenty of people will disagree with this list. But, I'd like to see in ten years where the people who worked a good job, got good grades, participated in scholarly activities, and acted more responsibly are as opposed to the people reading and sharing these "Your twenties are for -insert immature actions here-."

Keepin' it real with your family

By: Ty Stelting

Today, my wife and I, after a night full of driving with her brother to mis abuelos paternos, (or paternal grandparents) in Weatherford, Oklahoma, we got up and had strawberries and whipped cream on top of waffles. It was a great meal with some VIPs

It may not sound important but we drove 6 hours to come visit two people. Now that sounds crazy but it's important. Visiting family is great and should always be a part of every family's (and person's) life. My family was not a visiting type of family so neither was I. We went and visited maybe once a year at the most. It was always around Christmas and it was one day of presents and presence.

However, this was horrible because we always looked different, had familiarize ourselves with each other and had limited time to do things. Then we immediately left each other for a year again. This all changed once I got married to Kelsie.

Kelsie always reminds me of the importance of seeing family. Her family gets together at least three times a year, if not more. Family members are what keeps us happy and together. It creates opportunities to learn more stories on family, where you come from, and moments of greatness from your childhood. You laugh, fight, makeup, and then laugh again. It is what makes great conversations with your friends and kids. My Mom told me many stories about her brothers and how fun they were.

I loved it at my grandma's because it gives me a chance to live the great pasts and forget the bad ones.

I'm so grateful for all that she did for us this weekend and I hope she knows that we really love her. :)

While you were sleeping...

Today was a hard day in the world of Kelsie and Crossfit. This weekend we are going to visit Ty's grandparents, and want to leave as soon as possible after school because it's over a five hour drive. So what do we do? Morning Crossfit... At  5:30... When it's still dark outside.

Motivation is pretty tough to come by, especially at a time when even the sun is sleeping. We're somewhat lucky that we have a monetary investment in this as well, but that doesn't mean that when I see the Rx workout on the board my first instinct isn't to jump in the car, floor it to Sonic and have a milkshake. (Trust me, I've considered it a few times.) But, I fought the urge and stayed. As you can imagine the 5:30-ers are some of the fittest people at Crossfit 785. The women are strong with toned bodies, and the men throw hundreds of pounds over their heads with ease. So, now you can imagine me with morning breath, frizzy hair, and "cushion for the pushin'" dragging myself to the gym. I'll be honest, it was hard to keep my confidence up.

Sadly, I haven't discovered the secret about how to feel secure in your own body when standing next to the Kansan version of Adonis, or when your husband is cranking out pull-ups like I can lift a spoon to my mouth. But, this morning, instead of focusing on the way the others ran fast, or the SIX MONTHS PREGNANT woman was doing box jumps, I thought about myself. I thanked God for my legs that are able to run no matter how slow I go, I thanked Him for giving me arms that are strong enough to lift dumbbells and kettle bells, and I thanked Him for the opportunity to get in the best shape of my life, no matter how long it takes.

At the end of the day, I'm the only Kelsie Stelting in the world. That doesn't make me better or worse than anyone else, it just makes me human. Like any human I have strengths and I have weaknesses. For every success, I probably have about five failures, but that's okay, because I am Kelsie whether I weigh 110 or 310, or whether I can do 1 or 100 pull-ups. Part of what makes me Kelsie is the fact that I won't give up, and that's all that matters when I go to the gym.

A day in the life of Papì

To quote my wonderful albeit blunt Grandma Hoss, "Why did you get a dog?"

When I see my dogbaby, Papì, the answer is clear. If you're not my Facebook friend and haven't been besieged with pictures of my puppy love, here's my baby.

I'm not biased, and that is the CUTEST puppy I've ever seen. If you disagree, you're crazy and have no taste.

Having a dog has been crazy. I always expected to have something to cuddle, play with, and to motivate me to go on early morning walks. I mentally glossed over the potty training and throw up stage. I never expected my dog to behave like a cat, but with Ty as a co-parent I shouldn't be surprised.

Papì is one of the smartest puppies I've ever met. He learned his name and is picking up on fetch (minus the whole returning the toy part) really quickly. After he poopi's (haaa poop euphemisms at their finest) he runs up to me or Ty for a treat. He knows when he's in trouble to run away like a bat out of hell. Slowly, he's learning the ropes of the Stelting household.

Every night, he runs around the house faster than the speed of sound for at least twenty minutes. He finds every crevice and every small place to dart in and out of, his abnormally large ears tucked back to cut down on wind resistance. I'm glad we have carpet, because it would just be sad to see him skitter around on linoleum. When he's finally worn himself out, he winds between our legs a couple of times and plops down with a toy.

On the too likely chance that he does something wrong and I bend over to yell at him, he looks up at me, then rolls over on his back with his belly exposed for a scratch. By the end of the night the tally is typically Papì 1, Kelsie 0.

Papì also has developed a strong aversion to bathing. If he was in class... And a human, he would be the stinky kid in class.

This is Ty and our poor, mistreated puppy. Don't tell PETA, they might put him in a commercial and then his head would get wayyyyy too big.

After the bath, Papì tremors for an hour. He uses his cute powers unfairly! 

Despite all of our challenges, Papì has been a great dog addition to our family. We love our stinky, crazy, Poopi, cuddly catdog/gremlin to death.

Reverse Culture Shock

Life is so full of surprises that I should stop being surprised about being surprised. If you would have told me at any point during my first month abroad that I would not just miss Prague, but long to go back, I would have looked at you like you were a slug that someone poured salt on. (I'm guessing that's a look of fascination mingled with shock and horror.) 

Everything was so different in Prague, I mean, they didn't even have Velveeta or Sonic milk shakes. The grocery stores were small and lacked options, the clothes I bought fit weird, Czechs annoyed me with their stand-offish nature, and our campus was so small it was laughable. So why, then, I ask you do I feel more uncomfortable and out of place in a place I've spent years than a place I only stayed at five months? Well isn't that the million-dollar question.

When you leave for study abroad everyone is telling you to take in all the culture you can, embrace it without judgement, meet new people, and learn as much as possible. But after you go, they kind of leave you high and dry, or... The dreaded question.

"How does it feel to be back?"

Well, when most people ask that, they want you to say some variation of, "While I had the time of my life and made the most of my time abroad, I'm incredibly glad to be back and couldn't be happier." And that's true, partially, at least for me.

I am glad to be back (kind of), I did have the time of my life, and I did make the most of my time, but I'm not really happy. Actually, I feel how I felt my first month abroad times about ten. In Prague I took classes with Masters or PHd students; they were the best friends I had made in my whole life. In Prague I ALWAYS saw someone I knew on my way to class. In Prague I NEVER had to eat lunch alone because I almost always got included in one group or another. If I wanted to, I could bring a blanket out to the grass on campus with a bottle of wine and read a book. No one cared, in fact on a nice day there were probably about fifty students doing the same thing. My college professors taught me facts and kept their opinions to themselves. On weekends, there was always a pub to go to, a friend to eat lunch with, and some musician playing music. People didn't have a lot, but people didn't need a lot.

It is nice to be back. I can eat the foods I missed, see my family face to face, and sleep in a bed that doesn't resemble a couch cushion. That's great. There's nothing I love more than the views in Western Kansas right now, I missed them. But there's so much that I miss from my time abroad.

In Europe, or Costa Rica, the "ice bucket challenge" would be an outrage. They are so conservative of resources they don't even leave the showers on while they soap themselves up so they can save water. Water is valuable, and they know it. Now, every other post on my timeline is people pouring fresh ICE water over their heads. Sometimes not even over plants that can use the water, and a lot of the time using WAY more water than is necessary. (I'm looking at you, people who are using full loader buckets.) People are so eager here to waste things or not use them to their fullest potential, and when I confronted someone about wasting water they became belligerent and told me it's okay to waste water because at least people are giving money. Is that what it's come down to? We're okay with wasting our precious resources to get donations, but people get angry about farmers irrigating to produce food? This is just one example.

I won't even elaborate about my trips to Walmart. Talk about overstimulation.

I also never expected for people to care so little about my semester abroad. Sure, people ask, but how do you share the most amazing six months of your life in passing conversation? So many things remind me of my semester abroad, but I know how annoying it is to hear "When I was in Europe...." over and over again, so I try not to bring it up constantly. All I can do is pray for the opportunity for someone to ask and then I'm left disappointed because the other person gets bored or there simply isn't enough time. Sometimes I fear that if I wait too long to talk about things I'll forget them, and I don't want that either.

I miss all of the wonderful friends I made. I miss going to the PUB and attempting to pour my own draft of Pilsner. I can't even explain the longing I'm feeling for a cake from Giraffe Creperie.

While I am so glad I grew up where I did, and I AM proud to be an American, I miss the culture and people I became so fond of. I know this experience has made me look more critically at my own opinions, and I hope that as the days pass, I can somehow stop feeling like a tourist in my own country. 

Fat to (Cross)Fit

Unless you're Patrick Star, you've probably heard about Crossfit. Either someone's telling you that it's ridiculous and if you do it you're sure to get an injury, someone's saying offhandedly that they want to try it, or you may be unlucky enough to be friends with someone who does Crossfit, in which case, you probably hear about it at least five times a day. (You had a banana for breakfast? I ate a banana before doing "Cindy" once... Get your mind out of the gutter; "Cindy" is the name of one of the many hellacious workouts.)
Somewhere in the mix of all the information, it sounded like a good idea. Rigorous workouts five days a week, competition with yourself, strength training, what more could a girl ask for?

So, here's the deal. Ty and I just spent six months in other countries, and let me tell you, the "Study Abroad Fifteen" is a real thing. Even though people might feed you lies about how Europeans eat healthier, don't buy it. There are cake shops EVERYWHERE, and let's be honest, how much self-control can a person have in that situation? To top it off, we had the justification that it was a once in a life time opportunity, and food is a huge part of culture. Long story short: we needed to get on track for a healthy life style. We'd changed our lives forever by studying abroad, and it's high time that we changed our bodies by sticking to a workout program... So what did we do? We signed up for a semester's worth of Crossfit, paid in advanced.

The first  requirement was an "onramp." We had to do three workouts with the coaches so they could teach us the correct form. There were only eight people in the class including us, and two coaches. The other newbie Crossfitters ranged from fit military women, to a mother of three with fibromyalgia. I didn't feel in place or out of place, I just felt like I was there to do my thing. Most of the onramp was a refresher course from high school, but it was also a brutal awakening. The first official "workout" was one Tabata set of squats. A Tabata is twenty seconds of effort followed by ten seconds of rest, eight times in a row. I was sore for three days. Seriously, three days, from a four minute workout!

As of now, we are two days in. There are very few parts of my body that aren't sore, and those parts are becoming sore from coddling the other parts. In the words of my brother, Tucker, "Why are we paying people to make us feel this way?"

Wellllll... good question.

I HOPE that after a month, we won't feel so bad anymore.
I HOPE that after a month, we will be stronger.
I HOPE that after a month, we won't be so tired.
I HOPE that after a month, we will be well on our way to a healthy lifestyle.

And...

I THINK that in a month, all of those "hopes" will come true, thanks to Crossfit.

EatHarmony

By: Ty Stelting

They always say two heads are better than one... Well... I believe two stomachs are better than one. When you have another person on your side going through the tough battle of healthy and cheap eating, it is a smoother transition. My wife and I are together in this journey and she has already made it where I feel our meals are better than a pre-made fried processed salty french bread pizza-thingy you get for $2.99 at the corner store. We live in a world full of temptation and it is so easy to be able fall off the wagon and go get a box meal and not spend the extra time and effort on making something from scratch or fresh items.

Well trust me, when you make your own food and use the materials that are cheaper, it becomes a complete transformation in the way you  think about and approach every meal.

Kelsie and I have completely stopped buying small quantities of things we use on a regular basis. We began making things cheaper by buying things fresh. We don't buy things down the freezer aisle (other than the occasional pint of ice cream for indulgent purposes).

Life is so much easier with two because it can be such a daunting task to actually food prep and prepare meals, and you might be thinking those are synonymous but they definitely are not.

We buy tomatoes, onions, bell peppers, potatoes, fruits, and lettuce, all at one time and cut it up and store it for later use. We can add the vegetables to any dish, make fries, eat a salad, and still spend less than what you would spend on one big bag of frozen fries and a bag of salad. Food prep is the hardest because it would be nice to just set a whole pepper in a meal but it is very hard to do that so you must chop it up.

Now that you food is actually chopped up and stored in reusable tupper-ware, you can draw from it any time a meal you want calls for it. Say you want chicken breasts and corn-on-the cob, you can add sauteed onions and tomatoes to the top, or enjoy a nice salad. It is much healthier and cheaper than buying a lean cuisine or a Stauffer's frozen chicken dinner. After a week those fresh ingredients will taste better and make you feel better.

Another advantage of having a partner is that you guys can plan for the future and actually not run into this moment where you have no clue what you are going to have to eat and just go down to that corner store. You will always want to make the other person feel as if they shouldn't be disappointed in you so it holds you accountable. And if the meal is not something that you both don't normally enjoy but it was on sale, than you can suffer together or vice versa. Really enjoying a meal together can be powerful in making a better you, and you can instantly feel that. Tip: Set days in advance where you (and your partner) can indulge and enjoy a meal out, setting those days together will help you not cheat as much. Don't ever stop yourself from enjoying things you used to enjoy, just use in moderation; this can help stop you from having a binge.

The last and final thing is working out together. If you are lucky enough to be able to do the same workout as this person, you can actually coordinate meals and figure out if the plans will work or not. The pressure of finishing all the food you prepped can keep up the intake during exercise and make your taste buds accept it as better than that expensive pre-made stuff.

This other person can push you, help make change, help you feel good about what your doing, and make it a lot easier to become that healthier you. You will also do the same for them. My wife and I are figuring out that it can be easy to have an expensive healthy life style, but if you make all the right choices, wise buys, and stick to it, things can be cheap, easy, and better than anything you did before in a much healthier way.