The Big "M"

Today in Public Health Biology, my teacher was telling us that in the '40s, people just didn't talk about cancer. In fact, it took a brave and informative surgeon general "C. Everett Koop" to start the discussion. Now, cancer awareness is all over the place. No longer is it "The big 'C.'"

Please excuse me while I compare cancer to being married in college.

There's a pretty specific range of reactions I receive when I tell someone I have "The big 'M.'" It's undoubtedly some variation of:

"Why?"
"How old are you?" followed by "You're so young!"
"That's awwwwesome." Followed by uncomfortable silence.

Unless the person I'm speaking to is an anomaly or also married, things become pretty awkward after that conversation. I hope someday I can be the "C. Everett Koop" surgeon general of marriage, because man is this getting old. So, in the spirit of all these blog posts floating around, I present:

Seven things everyone should know about young married women.

1) Yes, I know I got married young. We don't need anyone to remind us that people won't support our union or think of it as commonplace until we hit some magic age barrier that supposedly makes us capable of being married.

2) Yes, I married my high school sweetheart. Since you already kindly asked me how old I am, you know that I'm not old enough to have married anyone OTHER than my high school sweetheart. It's cute... I know.

3) No, I'm not dropping all of my life goals to be a MRS. I'm simply factoring a MR into the equation.

4) Being married IS awesome, and not in an uncomfortable tone. I love having someone to share all of life's precious memories with. That includes the good times, bad times, sickness, health, richer and poorer.

5) I can be married without having student loans paid off, a bachelor's degree, a mortgage, or a 401 K. Marriage is about the commitment and love in your heart and not the size of a diamond or a bank account.

6) "What do your parents think about you being married?" Is not a relevant question to ask a young married person. Do you think if I based my decision to get married on what my parents think that I would be mature enough to be married?

7) Your posts about "40 reasons why you should be single in college" hurts my feelings. I don't insult people for being single in college, and it would be nice to have the same respect.

We all find our "one and only" at different times in life. I know many people that met their spouse as young as fourteen or fifteen. I've also met people that wait until their late thirties to get married. That's great too. The important thing to keep in mind is that marriage is a life-long commitment, which means that it should be--and is for the most part--entered into with great thought and care. The big "M" is also something very personal to the two people getting married, and scrutiny or judgement is not kind and frankly not welcome. So, next time you post something about how great being single is or meet someone married young, just remember that you don't have to promote your way of life, by putting another way of life down.