Did I get mugged?

This morning, I woke up with a sore, stiff body. I rolled my shoulders and heard a few cracks. I stretched my aching back. I looked down at my arms to see a few bruises... Did I get mugged?

Or did I have the time of my life playing volleyball?

This week has been a really tough week for Ty and I, especially me. I have been busy every night after school with activities or homework, and Ty has been studying, and working diligently as a sales intern. Add to that the stress of an impending graduation and working out, you have a nervous breakdown waiting to happen!

Friday night was a really special night for me. Over the summer I was awarded a scholarship from CHS through the Department of  Agriculture Economics at K-State. To honor the other students who received awards and myself, Farm Bureau in Manhattan, KS hosted a banquet. How boring, right? We all know these things can drag out, have bad food, and even worse jokes. But, I actually had a lot of fun. Both Tucker and Ty came with me and between the lame jokes, we made even lamer ones. Plus, we got to have some pretty great pie.

I mean, who can dislike a K-State Cheese Cake?

The banquet ended at 7:30. Afterwards a man came to speak with me and asked me which "Hoss I belonged to." Apparently he knew my grandpa and told me what great people the Hosses are. That made me really happy.

So, with a belly full of catered food and a smile on my face, I got to thinking about what could make that night better. Tucker told me it was more ice cream, and he tested the theory. haha. But, I thought volleyball! It's by far my favorite sport. Ty and I called up one of our friends we met in Prague, and the three of us went to the Rec.

Usually there's a bunch of people playing games of volleyball and if you ask nicely they'll let you join in on the game. When we went there were three other girls there playing already. They were students at the vet school, really great at volleyball, and very friendly. They asked us to play with them. Soon, three guys showed up and asked to join. Before we knew it, we had five on four and the game was really fun. We played a few matches without keeping score before the first few girls had to get back home to study.

Before hardly any time had passed at all, three more people joined us; two guys and one girl. We were back to where we started. One girl kept score during that game, but to the rest of us, it didn't matter. We were playing a game for fun, score or no score. Time flew by, and before we knew it, it was eleven o'clock. (AKA, wayyyyyy past bedtime!) 

I'm hoping we'll be able to make time for something like this again, and find such wonderful people to play volleyball with, but my body is disagreeing!

Minimum Wage

By: Ty Stelting

When I think of minimum wage, I think of jumping off point or starting off easy. When I think of fast food or gas station attendant, I think of "how can I move on?"

Imagine a world where you could go and do dishes in the back of a restaurant and get $12.50/hr in western Kansas. Life is easy and this job takes the skill of working a dishwasher. It was a two day training and you need nothing else but that. Your boss can no longer give you raises but that's okay, you can afford things that you couldn't before. This goes on for a month and start to realize that the food at the restaurant is getting more expensive. In fact, you notice everything is getting more expensive. Soon enough you're back to where you started and all your friends start complaining with you that this pay isn't enough either. You start to think..."I dropped out of college for this job?" "I have a car I can no longer afford?" "Why are they cutting my hours?" "All my favorite little stores aren't hiring me and the restaurant went out of business." Why is employment so hard to find? How come the welfare system isn't giving me more than before?

Well here are the reasons. We now have a surplus of unskilled laborers in the world who expect more than before. The restaurant will not cut into their already slim profits to accommodate the new wages. They have to charge more for their food to spread their wage accrual. Taxes are higher because employers are obligated to pay a percentage not a fixed amount. Employers will work more hours by themselves to cut taxes. They cut your hours and work everyday. Stress to raise prices lowers demand and they lose money below the amount of their variable costs. It would have been cheaper to not sell anything or even open the building. The restaurant shuts down along with three other businesses. The only places to stay open are those people who had senior workers or workers who were already close to that high minimum wage. They aren't hiring on trainees and will not be needing any more help. You are out of the job, along with your other friends. Life is no longer easy for you. The government has to pay their workers more to match inflation and cut into welfare. They manage to keep it at the same level but inflation has caused your expenses to skyrocket.

The market then later stabilizes and now instead of a dollar menu there is $3.50 menu with miniburgers that taste even more like cheap animal product.

We notice the highest rise in inflation and crap is just more expensive. Skilled labor is still more desirable and everything...is...the....same.

What did we gain from raising minimum wage everywhere?...
Nothing.
A lesson in economics maybe.

I want to give you the people who are like..."it works in big cities Ty, why can't it work everywhere?"

First of all, it isn't working in big cities.
Lets just say I move to Seattle where I can work at McDonald's for $11.50/hr and life is affordable barely...
What is my incentive to go to college, my parents cover my insurance, cover me when I'm short because I partied too much that week, and my work is stressful but doesn't need school so I'm good...

What are we fostering? We are allowing our next generation to think that minimum wage is good enough...that they don't need education? How can this be good for our next generation? Life isn't about taking the easy way everyday. It's about the constant strength we get from struggles we face everyday. And the struggle of when to flip a burger isn't it.

I do not want to sound like people who are working for minimum wage are stupid and irresponsible. I enjoyed working for low pay because it was money that I needed.

I want to stop the repercussions from raising minimum wage and increasing the prices of everything. I want kids to aim higher and not have to pay for the inflated college prices. (School tuition will be less attractive if we have higher inflation.) It makes unemployment rates higher because of a business being able to have six workers they can only hire three.

Consumers start looking for the cheapest thing because the skilled pay is lagging for the first 6-8 months. We go through a recession because no one wants to loan out money because money will be worth less later due to inflation over time.

Raising minimum wage does nothing. For anyone.

Why I Chose to Dress and THINK Modestly.

Going clothes shopping is, and always has been a nightmare for me, but lately it's reached epic proportions of horrible. Why? 1) I'm in college. My money is technically the tax-payer's, and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't appreciate me spending it on clothes. 2) My body is not shaped like other women's bodies. None of our bodies are made the same, therefore, 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14 doesn't match everyone. I AM NOT AN EVEN NUMBER!... and also not even tempered. (Ha, welcome to punland everyone!) 3) I do not feel morally comfortable wearing about 99% of the clothes for sale in stores today. The other 1% of decent clothes aren't cute and usually way too expensive.

A few years ago, I had a talk with some of the younger girls in my family. It was fair-time, and they were not dressed modestly. I used a famous, cliche line, "You're sending out the wrong message." I'd heard this phrase a million times before. These girls were dressed like the majority of college girls dress now: booty shorts, tank tops with ample cleavage showing. Not only were they dressed in a revealing manner, they were putting themselves out there: making eyes at boys, flipping their perfectly groomed hair around, and doing other provocative things. Certainly I didn't like them acting that way, but I was also concerned for their safety. In a small town, fair always brings out the good, the bad, and the ugly in people, especially men. Recently, I started wondering why women dress immodestly. That may seem silly, but I feel like there's a deeper reason than just "to get a boyfriend" or "to get attention."

In the media, there's been an increasing trend towards making yourself happy at all costs. You want to have an abortion? It's your choice. You want to sleep around? It's your choice. You want to marry anyone at anytime? That's your choice. You want to smoke pot? That's your choice. You want to drink 'til you drop? That's fine, just don't drive afterward. There's also a trend towards vanity.

How many "perfect" women stare at you from magazine covers? How many perfectly muscled men flex on posters at the gym? In all honesty, how many famous people are there that don't look like they're ready to go run a marathon while batting their full lashes without even breaking a sweat? In my opinion, a pretty large percentage. So we've created a dilemma for ourselves without knowing it: We can do anything we want, and a person can't have a whole, healthy, successful life without a "pleasing" physical appearance.

In such a vain setting, how are we supposed to receive any validation to remind ourselves that we are on the right track to blissful, consequence free, and "beautiful" life? We need to look to other people. This is especially evident on Facebook, where people constantly post about their lives, many times looking for validation. ("Went for a run today!" "-Insert inspirational quote here-" along with a heavily edited selfie.) But here's an interesting thought:

You can be immodest while dressing modestly, and you can be modest while dressing immodestly.

When I was in high school, I wanted boys to notice me. I cared whether or not a certain boy thought I was cute, and it would destroy me when I found out a boy liked another girl more than me or thought she was more attractive. I cared about what other boys thought of me so much that I developed a crush on a boy just because he was the only guy to tell me that I looked beautiful at prom. If that one compliment made me feel good, can you imagine how I felt when no one would compliment me? I was dressing modestly, but I was immodest with my emotions.

Back to the story about these girls in my family. One of the girls dressed in a very cute, and modest outfit the next day and they went to hang out together with some of our other family. Upon running into an adult in our family, one of the girls mentioned the talk I had with them, and the adult said, "Go upstairs and change into the shortest pair of shorts you have." The adult elaborated to this young girl, saying that she should wear whatever makes her feel confident, and she shouldn't care about what anyone else has to say about it. (There it is again, our culture of "do whatever makes you happy at any cost.") 

But she did care. 

Is it really plausible that women walk around leaving so little to the imagination because they had some mysterious inclination to dress akin to Victoria Secret models? No. Women dress that way because that is how they get attention. Any time we went to the club, the girls who dressed, or acted immodestly always had a dance partner. One of my good friends, who is the nicest girl I've ever met, but always dressed and acted modestly was never asked to dance. In my opinion, the girl most worthy of attention wasn't receiving any, and she was okay with it. The more I look for similar situations, the more I see them.

I chose to dress modestly because I decided to save my body for my husband. My body is a temple, and I decided to treat it as such. I decided to act modestly because my heart is for God, and now it is for God and my husband. I derive my self worth from the fact that I am wonderfully and fearfully made, from the good deeds I do, and from the love in my heart, and not from compliments--or the lack thereof--from other people.

In closing, I'd like to share a quote from my favorite author:

"I’ve got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don’t want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons.” 

-JK Rowling

The Myth of "Community" in Crossfit

Interaction with other people is one of our most basic human needs. For many people, a large part of living a healthy and happy life is developing and sustaining intimate relationships with friends and family. It's been scientifically proven that babies and children suffer developmentally with a lack of human interaction. With relationships being so paramount, it's no surprise that one of the premier advertising strategies for Crossfit is to portray a "Box" (gym) as a community.

Supporters of Crossfit preach that the Box is a judgement-free zone where Crossfit members will actively encourage each other to perform at their best. It is drilled into the consumers that in Crossfit, everyone is competing against themselves and not others. This advertising scheme is in place to draw people to the Box, and make them believe that the Box is more than just your average, run of the mill gym.

Crossfit boxes are much more than your average, run of the mill gym. Every day, a different workout is provided that can be scaled to difficulties ranging from beginner to advanced to competitive. At the Crossfit Box we attend, there are women seven months pregnant, people fifty or more pounds overweight, people of average health, and elite Crossfitters who train for Crossfit competitions. Crossfit serves all of these people and serves them well. In my month at Crossfit785 I have become stronger and leaner than I was when I started.  But, I can't say that the community boasted about on online forums exists because of Crossfit.

Crossfit785 has roughly 100 members. Each class is limited to 21 people, and there are about seven classes offered throughout the course of the day. Some people consistently attend at the same time every day, and others don't. I typically go to either the 5:30 AM or 5:30 PM classes. In my opinion, that's pretty ample time to be able to make a judgement about the Crossfit community in the Box I attend, and this is my observation.

People in Crossfit are just people.

These are the same people you'll find at work, school, the grocery store, or a restaurant.

People form cliques.

Once a close group of friends forms, the members of said group can be pretty unwilling to let someone new in. Making new friends is tedious, and if someone has a few friends they go to Crossfit with regularly, it's pretty unlikely they're going to make great friends with someone else simply because they already have friends!

People are competitive.

Period. One workout program typically won't change someone's entire way of life. Some people find validation in competing against others. The other day this guy mentioned that he always wanted to finish in the top half of the class, and if he would finish in the bottom half it would upset him... that doesn't necessarily go along with the doctrine of competing for personal records.

People can be mean.

Some people can be flat out rude. They might have had a bad day, or maybe they're just mean all the time. People don't stop being mean just because they're working out.

People can be really nice.

There are nice people everywhere. In our Box, we've been welcomed by several people, and even made a couple of acquaintances. Our coaches are eager to give us advice, and correct our form when necessary (read: a lot). One or two people might offer us encouragement every now and then.


My point? Community is not inherent only to Crossfit. Community is inherent to any place where roughly the same group of people go to the same place with common purpose. In any community there are nice people, mean people, funny people, and strange people. It takes all sorts of people to form a community. But, that can happen at a regular gym, at a yoga class, a book club, or any host of activities where people regularly come together. So, don't join Crossfit only for the community, because just like anything. "community" is an extremely romanticized word. Join Crossfit because you want superior coaching, a regular workout plan, and have a desire to get in the best shape of your life, not because you want to be a part of a community.

Do as I say, not as I do.

"Do as I say, not as I do."
This sentence sounds so ridiculous, but how many times have you seen it in action? It's the type of phrase that people never admit to, but instead proclaim loudly without words in their day to day lives.

In parents: "Don't drink." "Don't do drugs." "Pick up after yourself." "Don't bully other kids."
In churches: "Don't judge others." "Love everyone." "Don't have premarital sex."
In teachers: "Do your homework on time, so I can give it back to you a week later than I said I would."
In bosses: "Come to work on time." "Work hard." "Don't get on Facebook at work."

It seems like every turn we get to, we're being told one thing, and shown another thing. This has left me, and I'm sure a multitude of other people wondering what to do in life. What adults should I model myself after? What members of the congregation should I model myself after? What teachers should I really revere and respect? Surely not everything I'm being told/shown to do is correct. How is a child or teenager or even young adult supposed to sift through all of these examples and decipher what type of life they should lead?

I'm challenging myself, and those around me to lead authentic lives, because people are watching whether you know it or not. Your peers in class, colleagues at work, your children or grandchildren, your employees, the children of others in grocery stores, your employees, everywhere there are people, you are being noticed!

Much easier said than done.

How easy is it to give into our vices at a difficult hour? Hard day at work? Drink a beer, right before telling your child not to go out and drink at a party. Frustrated with a lack of productivity in employees? Ask them to work harder right before going into your office for hours without interacting or working with them.

But, I also count on the examples of those around me to help lead myself and my future children. Someday--far in the future--my children will begin dating. They won't just model themselves after Ty and I, they will model themselves after the interactions of young couples in their schools. I hope the other young couples can help set a good, wholesome standard for them to live up to. I, personally, like to see older married couples still living a good life, so I can know what to look forward to or work towards in the future. (Our grandparents have done a wonderful job of this!)

This is a call to action, not words. Instead of posting to your friends on Facebook, find a cause and work, so others can see you in your quest and become interested. Be the man or woman you want your children to become and treat others in the way you expect to be treated. To quote Ghandi for about the millionth time: "Be the change you wish to see in the world."

The Big "M"

Today in Public Health Biology, my teacher was telling us that in the '40s, people just didn't talk about cancer. In fact, it took a brave and informative surgeon general "C. Everett Koop" to start the discussion. Now, cancer awareness is all over the place. No longer is it "The big 'C.'"

Please excuse me while I compare cancer to being married in college.

There's a pretty specific range of reactions I receive when I tell someone I have "The big 'M.'" It's undoubtedly some variation of:

"Why?"
"How old are you?" followed by "You're so young!"
"That's awwwwesome." Followed by uncomfortable silence.

Unless the person I'm speaking to is an anomaly or also married, things become pretty awkward after that conversation. I hope someday I can be the "C. Everett Koop" surgeon general of marriage, because man is this getting old. So, in the spirit of all these blog posts floating around, I present:

Seven things everyone should know about young married women.

1) Yes, I know I got married young. We don't need anyone to remind us that people won't support our union or think of it as commonplace until we hit some magic age barrier that supposedly makes us capable of being married.

2) Yes, I married my high school sweetheart. Since you already kindly asked me how old I am, you know that I'm not old enough to have married anyone OTHER than my high school sweetheart. It's cute... I know.

3) No, I'm not dropping all of my life goals to be a MRS. I'm simply factoring a MR into the equation.

4) Being married IS awesome, and not in an uncomfortable tone. I love having someone to share all of life's precious memories with. That includes the good times, bad times, sickness, health, richer and poorer.

5) I can be married without having student loans paid off, a bachelor's degree, a mortgage, or a 401 K. Marriage is about the commitment and love in your heart and not the size of a diamond or a bank account.

6) "What do your parents think about you being married?" Is not a relevant question to ask a young married person. Do you think if I based my decision to get married on what my parents think that I would be mature enough to be married?

7) Your posts about "40 reasons why you should be single in college" hurts my feelings. I don't insult people for being single in college, and it would be nice to have the same respect.

We all find our "one and only" at different times in life. I know many people that met their spouse as young as fourteen or fifteen. I've also met people that wait until their late thirties to get married. That's great too. The important thing to keep in mind is that marriage is a life-long commitment, which means that it should be--and is for the most part--entered into with great thought and care. The big "M" is also something very personal to the two people getting married, and scrutiny or judgement is not kind and frankly not welcome. So, next time you post something about how great being single is or meet someone married young, just remember that you don't have to promote your way of life, by putting another way of life down.

Lessons Learned

I used to be one of those people that didn't like going to church, not because I didn't have faith, but I didn't like going. In my opinion, Smalltown, USA is a difficult place to be part of a church going community. Everyone knows those people that go to church just for show, and it's hard not to become that way in a small town for several reasons, the biggest reason being this: your peers know whether or not you're going to church every weekend. Also, while there's a great many churches in different denominations, there might be only one Catholic church, or one Baptist church, and while faith is about a relationship and not a religion, the teachings among different religions vary pretty greatly despite being based on the same book.

So, a while ago, Ty and I went "church shopping." We went to some great churches, and we went to some scary churches. (Imagine being verbally bullied into tithing, or seeing the preacher sing into a television screen in an empty room.) Finally we decided on two that we really like, and they are Catholic churches: St. Isidore's, and St. Thomas More. We go to either one depending on what mass time we can make it to. We fit in well at St. Thomas More because it's geared more toward family where St. Isidore's is mainly student based.

Today, we heard an interesting sermon at St. Thomas More. Our deacon spoke about what to do when you see someone doing something you know is wrong.  My first thought was, "I can barely keep myself in check, and now I have to watch out for others?" And then, "How am I supposed to go to my friends and tell them they're doing something wrong?" And then, "How do I not be a hypocrite?"

Well, here's my interpretation. We're all sinners. We all mess up. Frequently. But, some of us are better in some areas than others. For example, Ty is much better at patience than I am, that doesn't mean he has it all figured out, but it does mean that he can keep me in check with my patience. Actually, I welcome this. I know it will be really difficult to accept the criticisms constructively, but I hope to find a way.

It's a lot to think about for me, and I'm really nervous to apply this in my life because it's such a difficult concept. One day at a time, I will work to master this and other things we are taught to do. Will I ever be perfect? No. Will I ever stop trying? No.