A few years ago, I had a talk with some of the younger girls in my family. It was fair-time, and they were not dressed modestly. I used a famous, cliche line, "You're sending out the wrong message." I'd heard this phrase a million times before. These girls were dressed like the majority of college girls dress now: booty shorts, tank tops with ample cleavage showing. Not only were they dressed in a revealing manner, they were putting themselves out there: making eyes at boys, flipping their perfectly groomed hair around, and doing other provocative things. Certainly I didn't like them acting that way, but I was also concerned for their safety. In a small town, fair always brings out the good, the bad, and the ugly in people, especially men. Recently, I started wondering why women dress immodestly. That may seem silly, but I feel like there's a deeper reason than just "to get a boyfriend" or "to get attention."
In the media, there's been an increasing trend towards making yourself happy at all costs. You want to have an abortion? It's your choice. You want to sleep around? It's your choice. You want to marry anyone at anytime? That's your choice. You want to smoke pot? That's your choice. You want to drink 'til you drop? That's fine, just don't drive afterward. There's also a trend towards vanity.
How many "perfect" women stare at you from magazine covers? How many perfectly muscled men flex on posters at the gym? In all honesty, how many famous people are there that don't look like they're ready to go run a marathon while batting their full lashes without even breaking a sweat? In my opinion, a pretty large percentage. So we've created a dilemma for ourselves without knowing it: We can do anything we want, and a person can't have a whole, healthy, successful life without a "pleasing" physical appearance.
In such a vain setting, how are we supposed to receive any validation to remind ourselves that we are on the right track to blissful, consequence free, and "beautiful" life? We need to look to other people. This is especially evident on Facebook, where people constantly post about their lives, many times looking for validation. ("Went for a run today!" "-Insert inspirational quote here-" along with a heavily edited selfie.) But here's an interesting thought:
You can be immodest while dressing modestly, and you can be modest while dressing immodestly.
When I was in high school, I wanted boys to notice me. I cared whether or not a certain boy thought I was cute, and it would destroy me when I found out a boy liked another girl more than me or thought she was more attractive. I cared about what other boys thought of me so much that I developed a crush on a boy just because he was the only guy to tell me that I looked beautiful at prom. If that one compliment made me feel good, can you imagine how I felt when no one would compliment me? I was dressing modestly, but I was immodest with my emotions.
Back to the story about these girls in my family. One of the girls dressed in a very cute, and modest outfit the next day and they went to hang out together with some of our other family. Upon running into an adult in our family, one of the girls mentioned the talk I had with them, and the adult said, "Go upstairs and change into the shortest pair of shorts you have." The adult elaborated to this young girl, saying that she should wear whatever makes her feel confident, and she shouldn't care about what anyone else has to say about it. (There it is again, our culture of "do whatever makes you happy at any cost.")
But she did care.
Is it really plausible that women walk around leaving so little to the imagination because they had some mysterious inclination to dress akin to Victoria Secret models? No. Women dress that way because that is how they get attention. Any time we went to the club, the girls who dressed, or acted immodestly always had a dance partner. One of my good friends, who is the nicest girl I've ever met, but always dressed and acted modestly was never asked to dance. In my opinion, the girl most worthy of attention wasn't receiving any, and she was okay with it. The more I look for similar situations, the more I see them.
I chose to dress modestly because I decided to save my body for my husband. My body is a temple, and I decided to treat it as such. I decided to act modestly because my heart is for God, and now it is for God and my husband. I derive my self worth from the fact that I am wonderfully and fearfully made, from the good deeds I do, and from the love in my heart, and not from compliments--or the lack thereof--from other people.
In closing, I'd like to share a quote from my favorite author:
"I’ve got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don’t want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons.”
"I’ve got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don’t want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons.”
-JK Rowling
No comments:
Post a Comment