Thursday started out abnormally...
Yes, I actually did dishes BY HAND so the sink would be clean when I returned.
It was rainy and cold outside, so I put on my new pink headband.
(Selfie time)
Walked to class across the dreary campus.
Remember how I said I was starting a lifestyle diet? Well, I had to take a break from the food part of that while traveling. I finally was able to make the nine-hour drive to Craig Hospital in Denver to see Tucker... and of course, the trip had to start out with a waffle cone sundae from Sonic.
Of course I immediately regretted it.
I got an early start the next morning and dropped Papi off at Savannah's house. Apparently her dog had been missing Papi, and her cat had been missing someone to terrorize. (Papi's afraid of cats.) Finally. Finally, I got left to Denver and made it there around two on Friday afternoon. 24 hours for a nine hour drive? Not bad.
Tucker wasn't in the best of moods when I first arrived because he was supposed to start therapy, which is apparently tedious. They make him do simple tasks (like pulling cones apart) that seem pointless to everybody but his doctors, who say those actions are healing his brain.
In the afternoon, he was in a much better mood. We talked about anything and everything. From making fun of Mom (sorry MeMaw) to high school friendships to girls to all of the silly things he said when he was staying in Swedish Medical Center.
Here's a gem. A couple of weeks ago he told us that there are three steps to doing well with the ladies:
1) Be a smoooooooth criminal.
2) Have a smooooth criminal name, like MC memestoodank.
3) Have a slight cough.
The last rule was a little too convenient considering he had a little cough at the time.
He also has an eyepatch now, which he referred to as the lid to a pudding cup... pudding will never be the same.
On a bright note, a little of his eyesight is coming back. It comes and goes, but at one point he opened his left eye and said that he could see me. I asked him if he could see what I was doing (I was waving my arms) and after a few moments he started waving his arms too. He can also usually tell when we've turned the lights on or off, and according to the retinal specialist that's a good sign. They may do surgery to remove some of the shrapnel and bone fragments behind his left eye if that will help him see better. Mom said that the "family planning" meeting is February first, so I guess that's when they'll be telling us what's coming up AC (after Craig).
In the midst of all of this, Ty and I began the car search. I've been borrowing a vehicle from my aunt, but the mechanic finally told us (about two weeks later) that he's going to declare Ty's car "totaled" due to frame damage. Sidenote: I finally realized how lucky I am to still be here. I kind of blew off the wreck as not a big deal, because I'm totally fine except for the fact that I had whiplash for a few days. I hit a cement embankment head on at 45 miles per hour on the interstate. The airbag didn't go off. I'm so lucky I was wearing my seatbelt, that I wasn't injured, and that I wasn't hit by another car after I lost control on the snow. I guess it took realizing that the car is useless now to appreciate how lucky I was.
Sidenote aside, we've been searching for a vehicle. So Brian showed us a car, and we'll see what develops. Hopefully soon Ty and I will buy our first car together as a married couple. (I feel so grown up. Yay, debt. haha)
Then, I made the final jaunt of my trip to Oklahoma. Fun fact: there is NO Verizon service between the Oklahoma line south of Dodge City to about half an hour outside of Stillwater. It made for a very lonesome drive, a wrong turn that made the trip an hour longer, and a very worried husband.
I left Denver around 9:30AM and I got back to Stillwater at 11:00PM. To top it off, I left my house key in Denver. I'm not a "smooth criminal" so I had to call a locksmith and pay 65 dollars. Still made better time than the way there.
My door was unlocked around 12 and I fell into bed around 1. Just in time for a "nap" and a shower before I had to go to class the next morning.
On my five-hour drive without phone service, I had so much time to think, and for me that's not always a good thing. I get to over-thinking, over-analyzing, and over-imagining which usually leads to a depressed mood and a bout of paranoia. Last night was a little different.
I thought about book ideas and things I could write about in my fiction books. I thought about how the heck I'm going to do all of my homework before I need to leave again on Thursday. I thought about when/how I'm going to send my books of to a publisher. I thought about Ty, and how different marriage is in reality than how I imagined it. I thought about Tucker and how nice it was to be able to see him again. I thought about all of the hours my mom's spending with him and how Dad's splitting his time between two towns hours away. I thought about how it really sucks to live in Western Kansas, so far from good healthcare. I thought about how I would write this blog.
Writing means so much to me, and it's grown to mean more than when I first started this blog. It was a hobby, something I did because I enjoyed it, but something I never thought I could make a living at. I still don't know if I can make a living at it. But I'm making a life of it. I'm making a life of thinking, sharing, and honestly discussing.
Life is so messy, and it's hard, and some days we wonder whether we're going to get through it at all. Where are those stories? Where are the people talking about crying yourself to sleep at night, or struggling to get up in the morning because you're so sad. Who talks about smelly feet and razor burn and acne? I want to be real, honest, transparent. Life isn't what it looks like on someone's Facebook page. Life is what we live every single day, in the privacy (and sometimes pain) of our own minds. I guess it's time we started talking about it.
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