I sent out four copies of my book to my second set of beta readers. After sending out my first novella to beta readers, I received positive feedback from those that finished reading it. Still, every time I hit "publish" on a blog post, or pay for the postage to mail the book out, I am absolutely terrified.
It's like being a musician that has stage-fright.
I want to write, my whole being wants to write. I don't want to write something that no one will ever read; I want to have an impact. But I also care way too much about what other people think.
When I'm done writing and ready to send it out, doubts flood my mind. I wonder if I'm good enough--if I actually have talent or if that's just some idea I picked up somewhere. I wonder if my stories good. I wonder if I remembered my grammar lessons right from high school, and I worry that someone will judge me based on my fictional characters.
Blah. Blah. Blah. People post stuff every day. As if posting a blog is any scarier than sharing a long status update or reading an English paper in class, or reading a report at work. I guess it is, because, to a certain extent, I am my writing. It comes directly from me. This is what I put my heart, soul, and time into. This is what I've taken risks on.
I guess it's all a waiting game. Writing something. Having someone like it, dislike it... and then doing it all over again. But I wonder if it will ever stop being scary.
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