The biggest disease affecting twenty-somethings.

"Your twenties are for you!"
"Don't settle down, this time is about discovering yourself, making mistakes, and doing what YOU want!"
"Don't get married! You need to date around!"
"Don't settle with your first boyfriend, date guys, LOTS of guys, so you know what you want!"
"If you ever can't pay for something, Mom and Dad are here to help you. ALWAYS!"
"Don't get a job in college! I want you to 'focus on your studies!'"

If I did a search on advice for college-aged twenty-somethings, I would be besieged with blog posts restating the previous statements. If you're friends with a twenty-something on Facebook you've probably seen posts/pictures/blogs about what the 20's are for. I.e. "46 reasons to be single in college." "23 Reasons not to get engaged before 23" "40 reminders for your College Years." OR the pictures that say, "All my friends are getting married and here I am -insert something "better" here-." OR the posts that complain about someone posting too many pictures of their babies/dogs/husbands etc.

Well, let me tell you, this selfishness is the biggest disease affecting twenty-somethings. It is making our twenty-somethings lazy, self-serving, and immature. People my age will soon be in charge of government, health care, education, and many other important aspects of society, and we need to be constantly working to become strong, mature, and selfless adults that can lead out country to prosperity.

So, here is my list of "Eight things to remember in your twenties."

1) Once you turn 18 your parents owe you nothing.
Your parents have an inherent obligation to support you financially and emotionally until you turn eighteen. That's a given, but once you have moved out and are on your own, you are responsible for yourself. Your parents don't have to pay for your car, your college, or for you to go out with your friends, and they shouldn't have to.

2) Until you're totally independent, your parents get a "say" in your life.
Number one being said, I know how difficult it is to become independent in college. If your parents are still providing for you like you are a child, then they reserve the right to control certain aspects of your life.

3) Your twenties are a time to become fiscally responsible.
Sure, your parents might be paying for your tuition and a little spending money, but what happens when you graduate and you realize you have no savings and debt to top it off? Even if you're lucky enough to land a job right after graduation, you still have to pay for moving expenses, and let me tell you, that's not cheap! So, GET A JOB. Even if it's just a few hours a week it will go a long way toward helping you become self-sufficient.

4) You are responsible for your actions whether you are five, twenty, forty-five, or ninety years old.
Almost all of the articles that are popular encourage twenty-somethings to go crazy whether it's with alcohol, food, or with the opposite sex. When you're standing before God when you die, do you think he's going to say, "Ahhh, that's okay, you were twenty!"? I don't think so. That's not even mentioning the earthly consequences of our actions.

5) The decisions you make now will follow you for the rest of your life.
If you are irresponsible, my guess is you won't be building a good foundation for the rest of your life. If you work hard and smart in your twenties, you'll be setting yourself up for a great future in your thirties, instead of  spending your thirties doing damage control.

6) Promiscuity is never okay.
Let me introduce you to the duct tape theory. Every time you put duct tape on something, a little bit of the adhesive comes off. The more you move your duct tape around the less sticky it becomes, until eventually it won't be able to stick anymore. The same is true with relationships--especially physical relationships. There are serious physical repercussions that come along with sexual activity: namely parenthood and STIs. You have a responsibility to yourself and the person you're dating to be responsible and not create unneeded baggage for your future spouses.

7) College is not intended to be a party.
Partying is talked about just as much or more than classes, and that's sad. If people got just as excited for classes and homework as they did for the parties, our world would be an entirely different place. I'm not saying don't go to parties, but I am saying be smart about it. Your education should always be your first priority.

8) Your representation of yourself matters.
One day, you're going to apply for jobs. Do you think you're going to get a good reference from the professor of a class that you always went to five minutes late, hungover, and in sweatpants? Or if you always talked with a neighbor in class instead of taking notes? Probably not. There's a good chance a possible employer might know a professor you took classes under and call them to check on you whether or not you listed that professor as a reference. Be respectful in class, no matter how uninteresting or unimportant you may find it.


I'm sure plenty of people will disagree with this list. But, I'd like to see in ten years where the people who worked a good job, got good grades, participated in scholarly activities, and acted more responsibly are as opposed to the people reading and sharing these "Your twenties are for -insert immature actions here-."

Keepin' it real with your family

By: Ty Stelting

Today, my wife and I, after a night full of driving with her brother to mis abuelos paternos, (or paternal grandparents) in Weatherford, Oklahoma, we got up and had strawberries and whipped cream on top of waffles. It was a great meal with some VIPs

It may not sound important but we drove 6 hours to come visit two people. Now that sounds crazy but it's important. Visiting family is great and should always be a part of every family's (and person's) life. My family was not a visiting type of family so neither was I. We went and visited maybe once a year at the most. It was always around Christmas and it was one day of presents and presence.

However, this was horrible because we always looked different, had familiarize ourselves with each other and had limited time to do things. Then we immediately left each other for a year again. This all changed once I got married to Kelsie.

Kelsie always reminds me of the importance of seeing family. Her family gets together at least three times a year, if not more. Family members are what keeps us happy and together. It creates opportunities to learn more stories on family, where you come from, and moments of greatness from your childhood. You laugh, fight, makeup, and then laugh again. It is what makes great conversations with your friends and kids. My Mom told me many stories about her brothers and how fun they were.

I loved it at my grandma's because it gives me a chance to live the great pasts and forget the bad ones.

I'm so grateful for all that she did for us this weekend and I hope she knows that we really love her. :)

While you were sleeping...

Today was a hard day in the world of Kelsie and Crossfit. This weekend we are going to visit Ty's grandparents, and want to leave as soon as possible after school because it's over a five hour drive. So what do we do? Morning Crossfit... At  5:30... When it's still dark outside.

Motivation is pretty tough to come by, especially at a time when even the sun is sleeping. We're somewhat lucky that we have a monetary investment in this as well, but that doesn't mean that when I see the Rx workout on the board my first instinct isn't to jump in the car, floor it to Sonic and have a milkshake. (Trust me, I've considered it a few times.) But, I fought the urge and stayed. As you can imagine the 5:30-ers are some of the fittest people at Crossfit 785. The women are strong with toned bodies, and the men throw hundreds of pounds over their heads with ease. So, now you can imagine me with morning breath, frizzy hair, and "cushion for the pushin'" dragging myself to the gym. I'll be honest, it was hard to keep my confidence up.

Sadly, I haven't discovered the secret about how to feel secure in your own body when standing next to the Kansan version of Adonis, or when your husband is cranking out pull-ups like I can lift a spoon to my mouth. But, this morning, instead of focusing on the way the others ran fast, or the SIX MONTHS PREGNANT woman was doing box jumps, I thought about myself. I thanked God for my legs that are able to run no matter how slow I go, I thanked Him for giving me arms that are strong enough to lift dumbbells and kettle bells, and I thanked Him for the opportunity to get in the best shape of my life, no matter how long it takes.

At the end of the day, I'm the only Kelsie Stelting in the world. That doesn't make me better or worse than anyone else, it just makes me human. Like any human I have strengths and I have weaknesses. For every success, I probably have about five failures, but that's okay, because I am Kelsie whether I weigh 110 or 310, or whether I can do 1 or 100 pull-ups. Part of what makes me Kelsie is the fact that I won't give up, and that's all that matters when I go to the gym.

A day in the life of Papì

To quote my wonderful albeit blunt Grandma Hoss, "Why did you get a dog?"

When I see my dogbaby, Papì, the answer is clear. If you're not my Facebook friend and haven't been besieged with pictures of my puppy love, here's my baby.

I'm not biased, and that is the CUTEST puppy I've ever seen. If you disagree, you're crazy and have no taste.

Having a dog has been crazy. I always expected to have something to cuddle, play with, and to motivate me to go on early morning walks. I mentally glossed over the potty training and throw up stage. I never expected my dog to behave like a cat, but with Ty as a co-parent I shouldn't be surprised.

Papì is one of the smartest puppies I've ever met. He learned his name and is picking up on fetch (minus the whole returning the toy part) really quickly. After he poopi's (haaa poop euphemisms at their finest) he runs up to me or Ty for a treat. He knows when he's in trouble to run away like a bat out of hell. Slowly, he's learning the ropes of the Stelting household.

Every night, he runs around the house faster than the speed of sound for at least twenty minutes. He finds every crevice and every small place to dart in and out of, his abnormally large ears tucked back to cut down on wind resistance. I'm glad we have carpet, because it would just be sad to see him skitter around on linoleum. When he's finally worn himself out, he winds between our legs a couple of times and plops down with a toy.

On the too likely chance that he does something wrong and I bend over to yell at him, he looks up at me, then rolls over on his back with his belly exposed for a scratch. By the end of the night the tally is typically Papì 1, Kelsie 0.

Papì also has developed a strong aversion to bathing. If he was in class... And a human, he would be the stinky kid in class.

This is Ty and our poor, mistreated puppy. Don't tell PETA, they might put him in a commercial and then his head would get wayyyyy too big.

After the bath, Papì tremors for an hour. He uses his cute powers unfairly! 

Despite all of our challenges, Papì has been a great dog addition to our family. We love our stinky, crazy, Poopi, cuddly catdog/gremlin to death.

Reverse Culture Shock

Life is so full of surprises that I should stop being surprised about being surprised. If you would have told me at any point during my first month abroad that I would not just miss Prague, but long to go back, I would have looked at you like you were a slug that someone poured salt on. (I'm guessing that's a look of fascination mingled with shock and horror.) 

Everything was so different in Prague, I mean, they didn't even have Velveeta or Sonic milk shakes. The grocery stores were small and lacked options, the clothes I bought fit weird, Czechs annoyed me with their stand-offish nature, and our campus was so small it was laughable. So why, then, I ask you do I feel more uncomfortable and out of place in a place I've spent years than a place I only stayed at five months? Well isn't that the million-dollar question.

When you leave for study abroad everyone is telling you to take in all the culture you can, embrace it without judgement, meet new people, and learn as much as possible. But after you go, they kind of leave you high and dry, or... The dreaded question.

"How does it feel to be back?"

Well, when most people ask that, they want you to say some variation of, "While I had the time of my life and made the most of my time abroad, I'm incredibly glad to be back and couldn't be happier." And that's true, partially, at least for me.

I am glad to be back (kind of), I did have the time of my life, and I did make the most of my time, but I'm not really happy. Actually, I feel how I felt my first month abroad times about ten. In Prague I took classes with Masters or PHd students; they were the best friends I had made in my whole life. In Prague I ALWAYS saw someone I knew on my way to class. In Prague I NEVER had to eat lunch alone because I almost always got included in one group or another. If I wanted to, I could bring a blanket out to the grass on campus with a bottle of wine and read a book. No one cared, in fact on a nice day there were probably about fifty students doing the same thing. My college professors taught me facts and kept their opinions to themselves. On weekends, there was always a pub to go to, a friend to eat lunch with, and some musician playing music. People didn't have a lot, but people didn't need a lot.

It is nice to be back. I can eat the foods I missed, see my family face to face, and sleep in a bed that doesn't resemble a couch cushion. That's great. There's nothing I love more than the views in Western Kansas right now, I missed them. But there's so much that I miss from my time abroad.

In Europe, or Costa Rica, the "ice bucket challenge" would be an outrage. They are so conservative of resources they don't even leave the showers on while they soap themselves up so they can save water. Water is valuable, and they know it. Now, every other post on my timeline is people pouring fresh ICE water over their heads. Sometimes not even over plants that can use the water, and a lot of the time using WAY more water than is necessary. (I'm looking at you, people who are using full loader buckets.) People are so eager here to waste things or not use them to their fullest potential, and when I confronted someone about wasting water they became belligerent and told me it's okay to waste water because at least people are giving money. Is that what it's come down to? We're okay with wasting our precious resources to get donations, but people get angry about farmers irrigating to produce food? This is just one example.

I won't even elaborate about my trips to Walmart. Talk about overstimulation.

I also never expected for people to care so little about my semester abroad. Sure, people ask, but how do you share the most amazing six months of your life in passing conversation? So many things remind me of my semester abroad, but I know how annoying it is to hear "When I was in Europe...." over and over again, so I try not to bring it up constantly. All I can do is pray for the opportunity for someone to ask and then I'm left disappointed because the other person gets bored or there simply isn't enough time. Sometimes I fear that if I wait too long to talk about things I'll forget them, and I don't want that either.

I miss all of the wonderful friends I made. I miss going to the PUB and attempting to pour my own draft of Pilsner. I can't even explain the longing I'm feeling for a cake from Giraffe Creperie.

While I am so glad I grew up where I did, and I AM proud to be an American, I miss the culture and people I became so fond of. I know this experience has made me look more critically at my own opinions, and I hope that as the days pass, I can somehow stop feeling like a tourist in my own country. 

Fat to (Cross)Fit

Unless you're Patrick Star, you've probably heard about Crossfit. Either someone's telling you that it's ridiculous and if you do it you're sure to get an injury, someone's saying offhandedly that they want to try it, or you may be unlucky enough to be friends with someone who does Crossfit, in which case, you probably hear about it at least five times a day. (You had a banana for breakfast? I ate a banana before doing "Cindy" once... Get your mind out of the gutter; "Cindy" is the name of one of the many hellacious workouts.)
Somewhere in the mix of all the information, it sounded like a good idea. Rigorous workouts five days a week, competition with yourself, strength training, what more could a girl ask for?

So, here's the deal. Ty and I just spent six months in other countries, and let me tell you, the "Study Abroad Fifteen" is a real thing. Even though people might feed you lies about how Europeans eat healthier, don't buy it. There are cake shops EVERYWHERE, and let's be honest, how much self-control can a person have in that situation? To top it off, we had the justification that it was a once in a life time opportunity, and food is a huge part of culture. Long story short: we needed to get on track for a healthy life style. We'd changed our lives forever by studying abroad, and it's high time that we changed our bodies by sticking to a workout program... So what did we do? We signed up for a semester's worth of Crossfit, paid in advanced.

The first  requirement was an "onramp." We had to do three workouts with the coaches so they could teach us the correct form. There were only eight people in the class including us, and two coaches. The other newbie Crossfitters ranged from fit military women, to a mother of three with fibromyalgia. I didn't feel in place or out of place, I just felt like I was there to do my thing. Most of the onramp was a refresher course from high school, but it was also a brutal awakening. The first official "workout" was one Tabata set of squats. A Tabata is twenty seconds of effort followed by ten seconds of rest, eight times in a row. I was sore for three days. Seriously, three days, from a four minute workout!

As of now, we are two days in. There are very few parts of my body that aren't sore, and those parts are becoming sore from coddling the other parts. In the words of my brother, Tucker, "Why are we paying people to make us feel this way?"

Wellllll... good question.

I HOPE that after a month, we won't feel so bad anymore.
I HOPE that after a month, we will be stronger.
I HOPE that after a month, we won't be so tired.
I HOPE that after a month, we will be well on our way to a healthy lifestyle.

And...

I THINK that in a month, all of those "hopes" will come true, thanks to Crossfit.

EatHarmony

By: Ty Stelting

They always say two heads are better than one... Well... I believe two stomachs are better than one. When you have another person on your side going through the tough battle of healthy and cheap eating, it is a smoother transition. My wife and I are together in this journey and she has already made it where I feel our meals are better than a pre-made fried processed salty french bread pizza-thingy you get for $2.99 at the corner store. We live in a world full of temptation and it is so easy to be able fall off the wagon and go get a box meal and not spend the extra time and effort on making something from scratch or fresh items.

Well trust me, when you make your own food and use the materials that are cheaper, it becomes a complete transformation in the way you  think about and approach every meal.

Kelsie and I have completely stopped buying small quantities of things we use on a regular basis. We began making things cheaper by buying things fresh. We don't buy things down the freezer aisle (other than the occasional pint of ice cream for indulgent purposes).

Life is so much easier with two because it can be such a daunting task to actually food prep and prepare meals, and you might be thinking those are synonymous but they definitely are not.

We buy tomatoes, onions, bell peppers, potatoes, fruits, and lettuce, all at one time and cut it up and store it for later use. We can add the vegetables to any dish, make fries, eat a salad, and still spend less than what you would spend on one big bag of frozen fries and a bag of salad. Food prep is the hardest because it would be nice to just set a whole pepper in a meal but it is very hard to do that so you must chop it up.

Now that you food is actually chopped up and stored in reusable tupper-ware, you can draw from it any time a meal you want calls for it. Say you want chicken breasts and corn-on-the cob, you can add sauteed onions and tomatoes to the top, or enjoy a nice salad. It is much healthier and cheaper than buying a lean cuisine or a Stauffer's frozen chicken dinner. After a week those fresh ingredients will taste better and make you feel better.

Another advantage of having a partner is that you guys can plan for the future and actually not run into this moment where you have no clue what you are going to have to eat and just go down to that corner store. You will always want to make the other person feel as if they shouldn't be disappointed in you so it holds you accountable. And if the meal is not something that you both don't normally enjoy but it was on sale, than you can suffer together or vice versa. Really enjoying a meal together can be powerful in making a better you, and you can instantly feel that. Tip: Set days in advance where you (and your partner) can indulge and enjoy a meal out, setting those days together will help you not cheat as much. Don't ever stop yourself from enjoying things you used to enjoy, just use in moderation; this can help stop you from having a binge.

The last and final thing is working out together. If you are lucky enough to be able to do the same workout as this person, you can actually coordinate meals and figure out if the plans will work or not. The pressure of finishing all the food you prepped can keep up the intake during exercise and make your taste buds accept it as better than that expensive pre-made stuff.

This other person can push you, help make change, help you feel good about what your doing, and make it a lot easier to become that healthier you. You will also do the same for them. My wife and I are figuring out that it can be easy to have an expensive healthy life style, but if you make all the right choices, wise buys, and stick to it, things can be cheap, easy, and better than anything you did before in a much healthier way.