Bless me or block me.

Just submitted my application to be a graduate student in agricultural communications at Oklahoma State University... praying that God either blesses me or blocks me. <3 All there is to do now is wait.

Can't say "fierce" without saying "fear"

Can you tell from the title that I've watched eight episodes of America's Next Top Model today?

As I said in my last post, I've had time for a few things today, television, writing, and thinking (of mostly good thoughts). Reflections of the past get to me, but there's one thing in particular that stood out to me...

A few weeks back, Dad told a good family friend that I had been accepted into Vanderbilt School of Nursing, and at the last minute, I withdrew from the program. This family friend's reaction was, "Oh, she must have gotten scared." 

Yes, I was accepted into both Johns Hopkins University's and Vanderbilt Univerity's nursing programs. Both of these schools are elite and provide top-notch nursing education. Yes, my husband and I moved to Nashville, Tennessee, partially because I was going to attend Vanderbilt University. Yes, at the last minute, after attending orientation and enrollment, I withdrew from Vanderbilt and gave up on Nursing. And, yes, I was scared.

I was scared of paying over $100,000 to study a field that I believe has been corrupted by our government, by greed, and by the extreme amount of lawsuits people press against medical professionals. I was scared to pay over $100,000 to go into a field that I wasn't 100% was my "calling" (if there is such a thing). I was scared to devote the rest of my life to a career--because I would have to to pay off student loans--where I wasn't sure my talents would be utilized in the best way possible. I was scared of becoming a part of the problem. I was scared of creating a poor medical experience for my patients like the one I went through with my grandmother, like the one I went through with my knee injury, and like the many poor experiences people have seeking healthcare. I was scared of wasting two years of my life in school studying a field I wasn't sure about. I was scared of becoming a part of the problem.

I know that every person who becomes a doctor is primarily in the business to make peoples' lives better. Doctors, nurses, EMTs, paramedics, occupational therapists, physical therapists, medical assistants/secretaries, and all of the other people working in hospitals and clinics aren't inherently bad people. It's a bad system. If you want to argue with me, please try. I sure do need my faith in healthcare restored. I digress.

I'll readily admit that I was scared. But, it took a great deal more courage to withdraw from a very prestigious school after I had already moved 15 hours away from home than to continue on the narrow path that would surely lead to secure employment with great pay. Now I am afraid for different reasons.

I'm afraid to pursue my passion for writing, knowing that it may not lead to the most cushy lifestyle. I'm afraid to apply to another graduate school, having just backed out of one. I'm afraid to move again. I'm afraid to chase curiosity not knowing where it will take my husband and myself. 

I'm pretty sure it was John Wayne who said "Courage is being scared to death... and saddling up anyway." So here I am, saddling up for what is sure to be a crazy ride.

Spider Ty

I think I had it more "together" in fifth grade than I do now, because this will be the second time I'm citing my fifth-grade-self in this blog... Back in the good-ol'-days, I decided that I would fix all of my problems with a "happy book." The idea was that every single day I would write down the things that had made me happy that day. And, because I thought it was such a wonderful idea, I bought six spiral ring notebooks, wrote in sharpie marker "My Happy Book" on the front, and wrote a name on the inside cover--one for each of my family members.

I don't know whether  any of my family ever used theirs, but I used mine, for about a month, and then it turned into a diary, which isn't really relevant now, I guess. The idea is that a "happy book" has been proven to be a really powerful tool for increasing mental well-being. 

At 21, I don't keep a diary (unless you consider this blog a diary), and I don't keep a "happy book" either. Maybe, though, I can start with a "happy post" where I list the good things about my day. I'm starting to realize Nashville just might not be my cup of tea, but that doesn't mean that it's a totally stale drink I should toss down the drain. 

Lately, lists seem to be the best way to proceed for me, so I'll start there.

Happy Post

1) Ty and I have a place to live, and a fridge full of food... (Note to self: Buy more ice cream.)

And a husband who humors me by taking pictures of me in church clothes.

2) There are two plane-tickets with our names on it for a flight back home, so we can honor one of the most influential people in my life.

3) I have a great camera, computer, and internet, so I can take awesome pictures, and meet with new people.

4) The Red Cross was so busy with blood donors that they didn't have time to honor my appointment. Okay,,. that's kind of negative, and it really upsets me when people don't honor their word, but I am so glad that people are donating blood--it's a really easy way to save a life!

5) Several people back a K-State have agreed to serve as references for me--I'm going to be applying to an Ag Communications program at Oklahoma State University. This is great because one of these people was so unbelievably understanding about my decision not to attend Vanderbilt. It's always a great feeling when someone so whole-heartedly accepts you for who you are.

Their mascot is Pistol Pete... I wonder if there's room for another mascot that goes by the name of "Rattlesnake Sue"? (AKA the rootin tootinest, snakey-killin'est alter ego there ever was.)

6) I have an interview on Tuesday to be a substitute teacher. I think it is definitely going to be a "glamorous" job, even though Ty insists otherwise.

7) Papi is super cute.

And secretly a sumo wrestler... whaaaa??

8) Netflix, you da' real MVP.

9) Good hair days.

10) A husband who still loves me after I send him pictures like this...

And I suppose people who still read my blog after this picture....

11) Tried my hand at book binding... let's be honest, the first attempt was ugly, but, as Ty said in surprise when I showed him the finished product: "It looks like a book!"

12) Finally played Scrabble against Ty... and won! 

By like 48 points... with the word Qat. Not sure what it means, but I'm guessing it's something like "Kelsie creamed Ty at Scrabble and is never going to let him forget it."

13) A beautiful church to go to on Sundays.

14) Had a "Czech Style" Pilsner the other night. I almost forgot how good beer can taste. :) (Yes, Jesus drank alcohol too.)

15) My husband has gotten several interviews for accounting internships... basically because he's awesome, smart, and looks good in a suit.

"Spider Ty, Spider Ty, does whatever a Spider Ty does." - David Stelting.

Fifteen things in the happy post isn't too shabby. I probably won't write a happy post every day, or every month even, but maybe it will be enough to mentally make a "happy list" from time to time.

Please Grant this Rant

By: Ty Stelting
Sorry regular readers, I have been meaning to write a post for a few days now but here it is; I am now writing one. I would like to say thank you for all the people who do read our stuff and share it. You are what keep me going. So Kelsie and I have been in Nashville for a month and about a week now and I have been desperately needing out of this crazy city ever since…Okay not desperately, but it would be nice to get away from the insanity, because I am slowly becoming a part of it.

We went to a lake (see the pictures below again, in the last post) and the views were amazing and then we went swimming in Cooks Recreational area and that was very busy, but fun. It was a part of the same lake but on the opposite side. It took us about 30 minutes to get there and we had to pay $4 but it was worth it seeing all the kids have fun and soaking some good ol’ vitamin D.

In speaking of pictures, I would like to commend Kelsie in the fact that she has been trying so hard to get her business going, Reminisce. She has made flyers, business cards, releases, and products. She has done photography segments for free on the streets to get some practice. She will be successful the second she gets the opportunity because she truly tries as hard as she can. Here are the pictures she took:

It rained here all day which made my plan to stay lively or get some exercise even harder. I managed to fill out the 20^th job application I have filled out and don’t even get me started on how much time Kelsie has spent on hers. We keep getting interviews but no success and it has really hurt since college was supposed to set you up and give you the relief of, “you have nothing to worry about for your career now!” However, they leave out the part that says “if you already had it lined up before you leave.”

When you come to a new town you basically lose all of your connections and must start over. You still have references but they hardly ever get called. You have nothing but your experiences and I don’t think people can fully appreciate the things we did because they may not fully understand the entire program entailed or “a trip to Washington D.C.” doesn’t sound like a stretch anymore. Kansas standards are not lower but they are different and that perspective to employers gets lost in translation.

We are doing okay though, and we still have interviews and we will make it through. I mean the Prague Blog was full of stories where we faced very difficult times where we slept in an airport or had very tiny amenities. We got lost all the time, missed buses, and waited forever in places. Being lost in Nashville is now not so common for me. I feel as if I can find my way around most places now. It is getting easier to live here.

My classes are great but they have been very difficult, especially tax. The law and stuff is very difficult to follow sometimes. I can’t wait to start auditing and assurance but that is enough about my boring accounting.

I would also like to take a moment to say that we have been a part of a great church and I hope that if someone gets to visit us we can show them how nice it is. They are very involved in the community and I believe they are the most traditional Catholic Church I have ever been to.

 Our time here will improve my driving skills and patience on the road. I hope to get an internship here in the spring because the pay is great and the firms are very sizable. I hope that we do get more out of this experience and I know we won’t know what we really got out of Nashville until we move away from here. I love my wife and dog and as long as I have them, then I can be happy just about anywhere. I feel truly blessed for all that we have.

I hope to be writing more in the future about more activities, we will be heading home in a week. It will be great to get home, I just wish it was under different conditions. I would like to dedicate this post to Margaret Hoss, a wonderful person and dear friend in my life. I love her dearly as she made it apparent what the definition of down-to-Earth was and she was one of the most helpful people I know. She always had great stories and somehow remembered everything except how to pronounce my last name. J She truly made an impact on my life and anyone else that had the pleasure to meet her.

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this 1 month long rant condensed into one blog post.  

ConGRADulations!

Hey everyone, it's Ty. In this post I hope to convey to you how my graduation was the best out everyone else's. I know it was because family, even though they can be stressful, will always come through and give you more than you have ever asked for.

Friday evening, before the grad ceremonies, we had a party that was set up by Brian, Tami, and Jennifer and they did a fantastic job. We spent the evening eating great sandwiches w/ chips, pickles, and ice cream cake. There was more than enough food and friends to go around. I really enjoyed their company until they decided to point out he FLAWS on my face!!! ;) It was okay, we all can't be perfect and there was no way anyone could knock me down because I was ending the culmination of about 5 years of work, counting dual credit classes. At the end, we had finally decided that our family meshed pretty well and everything went swimmingly. One last tidbit, we owe that guy at the front front desk a debt of gratitude for going above and beyond.

Some pictures of the people we need to thank for the great party:

My Mom and step-dad Brian with me taking a wonderful picture after graduation. 

Kelsie's Mom and Dad, Jennifer and Dalton 

Kelsie and I have been at K-State, together, for two and a half years and yes, we survived living together thus far (even though it might be a toss-up who will strike first ;). We have tried our hardest, graduated with a high GPA, a lot of work experience, and trips that will leave a permanent etch within our cultural awareness and lives in general. Kelsie did a lot more than me and gained honors that made her, in my opinion, number one out everyone in her class.

Her ears were burning! Here she is afterwards in those nice shoes with the very
prestigious purple and white "cords" signifying honors.

Our family made it down for the weekend and witnessed both ceremonies...what a bunch of troopers. I told them thank you for coming because I probably would have went crazy sitting there for almost FIVE hours! All the families that sat through a ceremony should be commended because it was very long, and somewhat difficult to stay awake through. How we did it on a basically empty stomach, I will never believe. However, I think it was completely worth it because of the atmosphere of being recognized by my peers, professors, and administration made me feel recognized and the family presence afterwards made me feel blessed.

Kelsie with Grandma Hoss, she traveled down with Savannah and we are very
thankful they made it.

Kelsie, my dad David, and I all posing after graduation.

After having a famished family, still recovering from the anxiety of almost not getting the gown to Kelsie on time, we departed for supper. This is where we had no real plan and made no reservations for our very large group at Cracker Barrel. This was something I really need to think about when it comes to planning but everything went okay in the end. We had a great meal and there were no real big surprises. We had a few laughs about losing at the game that's located on every table. I assume that it is called "tee'd off" because that game can be frustrating. I think the best part was seeing everyone so happy to finally receive sustenance and go home way too full. When we got there, we had been given one more chance to sit down and talk about old times and enjoy a few more hours together.

I would also like to end on thanking everyone for the wonderful gifts and cards. They were very sweet and thoughtful. We will try and send out thank you letters soon, if you don't receive one, it probably got lost in the mail. We love you all and thank you for coming to our Graduation if you did. Lastly, I would like thank Wayne Talbot for attending and Larry and Ellen for the wonderful card.

We will try and update you on our plans with the next posts and remember that you can turn to us if you ever need any help and we will try our hardest to accommodate.

Please check out these other photos too!

Kelsie walking across the stage (without falling ;)

This picture including a very special person, Kim, she graced us with her presence
and very thankful she made it along with my Dad.

Thanks for reading!

Maybe I'll have the title done by the end...

By Ty Stelting

So lately, I have been at a loss for what to talk about so let's talk about something I am great at, procrastination. Something that I picked up from my mother...I am so great at procrastinating that it is hard to believe that I get anything finished. I am currently writing this blog because I do not want to do the things that I need to do.

What is the deal with procrastinating? Why do I purposefully make sure that I do everything at the last second? Well I could look at it in the psychological sense of Organizational Behavior

Where first time group members meet and actually get stuff done is halfway there but...seniors in college have gotten so great at this skill of "waiting until the last second" that this model above is now a complicated and scientific waste of time. 

Now WHY do I do this to myself...???

Maybe it's the fact that we think the pressure is fun and we enjoy getting stuff done just at the right moment. That would be ludicrous...

Let's look back at the model, maybe the more confident we are the closer that transition period where we actually complete stuff gets closer to the completion date. So it's confidence! 

No......If I was so confident, then I wouldn't be stressing all the way to finals week. Worried about my educational career and think that my life is over the second I get a C on a test. 

Why!!! The anger and stress that comes from procrastination should be the reason why we shouldn't wait to do something that we NEED to do tonight...I mean! In the near future. 

I think my final answer can be found somewhere in role conflict.

Do I feel like being a student four three hours...or do I feel like being a great husband by cooking supper, going on a date, and walking the dog. These priorities seem to be the things that come first. Priorities of being a Star Wars, Once Upon a Time, and Last Man on Earth fan come before being a student but only up to a point....

Solution...there is none, if you procrastinate and never fail at finishing something that has dire consequences,  you will always wait until the last possible moment. I guess we'll see if someone creates a magical drug or system that makes you be on time. But until the end the title of this blog post is "Critical Ratios and Student Consistency blah blah...who cares...?" 

An obviously objective oddball observation of typical sayings regarding high school, college.

Once I started high school, I was constantly reminded that high school is supposed to be the best time of your life. "You'll make great friends," they said. "You won't have the kind of responsibilities that you will later on," they said. "You will have fun," they said... Well, to put it succinctly, I'm still waiting on all of that. And frankly, if high school was supposed to be the best years of my life, that would have been incredibly sad, and I wouldn't have had much to look forward to.

Fastforward four years to high school graduation.

"Okay, actually, college will be the best time of your life," they said. "College is way better than high school," they said. "You'll make your best friend for life," they said. Well, three years, one marriage, five organizations, 124 credit hours, 13 countries, five part-time jobs, and one language later, I'm still questioning the validity of those statements.

College will be the best time of your life: Well, I've had good times, and I've had some really difficult times. I'd say some highlights were marrying Ty, getting straight A's, being honored as "Chancellor of the Year" in a national honors fraternity, and studying abroad. But, there have also been really difficult times. Obviously, it doesn't do well to dwell on those, and no one wants to hear about impending student debt, losing an advisor, sleepless nights, crying breakdowns in another advisor's office, yelling at the registrar, unreturned emails, and personal problems, so I'm just going to skip right on past that. ;) IF these are the best times of your life, what's the point? What's the point in working so hard if nothing will get better? 

College is way better than high school: Can't argue that. Not even a little. The only thing I miss a little is having enough free money to dye my hair every now and then. Other than that, I love it. The freedom that comes with knowing that you are the only person responsible for yourself is amazing. I know that what happens to me (and my husband) will be a direct result of my actions... That's great! So, take that, proverbial "they!" High school wasn't the best time of my life! (Catholic time: "Thanks be to God!")

You'll make your best friend for life: Well, I made that friend in high school, his name's Ty, but usually I call him "husband" or some sickeningly sweet pet name like "behbeh cakes," "honey bear," or occasionally some choice expletives, depending on the mood! Don't get me wrong. I made other best friends, but they're an ocean (or a Facebook message) away.

Upon examination of the ups and downs, college has been a pretty even mix. You should be impressed that I was able to objectively say that, because this is how I'm feeling about college right now:

This has been one of those weeks that's driven me to sincerely consider having a mental breakdown. I probably would if it weren't for the fact that I have absolutely no time for one! Let's hope that after this week, my cortisol levels will drop, I'll have a more positive outlook, have more time to dedicate to my mental health, and.... have a college degree! 

And after that... Well, I'll be looking forward to even more "best years of my life."

College--Where have all the manners gone?

Students are paying more than ever to go to college. In fact, the average rate of tuition in the US has almost tripled since 1980. So with this unwarranted (and by unwarranted, I mean the price has increased faster than the rate of inflation, with little or no improvement in the quality of college education) rise in tuition, my immediate thought is that students would value the item they are buying (education) now more than ever. Surprisingly that doesn't seem to be the case; only 59% of students who started college full time, finished a degree within six years. Why is this? Is college more difficult? Is it because most students are having their parents pay for at least some of their education?

So what does this along with a general decline in American morals and standards mean for the typical college classroom? Well, it means students feel entitled to respect from their professors, without needing to give any respect in return. It means we feel we pay enough to be able to do whatever we want whenever we want. It means, we don't care what we do, because we didn't make the personal investment and therefor won't treasure our education as much as if we had paid for it ourselves. It means... we need to learn a few things about how to act in a college classroom.

1) It is not okay to wear your hat indoors; I'm talking to you, guy in the ten gallon cowboy hat in front of me, blocking my view of the whiteboard.
2) No, you should not chew Copenhagen in class.
3) For that matter, you should not spit your nasty Copenhagen spit into your old Mountain Dew bottle.
4) Yes, your talking to your friends is distracting everyone around you, even if it's a whisper.
5) Leaving your headphones in so you can only halfway pay attention to the lecture is not polite! Especially when you leave "Baby Got Back" on loud enough for the person sitting next to you to hear it.
6) Sitting on the outside of the aisle when there are still plenty of empty seats in the middle of the row is not okay... unless you like having everyone's butt in your face as they climb over you to get to an empty seat.
7) Contrary to popular belief, you shouldn't wear what your wore to bed to class. And yes, we can tell that those crumpled, paint-stained sweat pants are sleep-worthy and comfortable, but your professor dressed up and you owe the same respect.
8) Don't put your dirty shoes on the chair in front of you; someone has to sit there. Classroom does not equal living room!
9) Just because you're allowed to text, doesn't mean that you should.
10) Bullying, gossip, and talking behind someones back didn't suddenly become okay.


There are a lot of great things about my generation... we can turn on a computer without asking for help for one! But, as I'm sitting in class with all of the "bright minds of the future" around me, I have to wonder... where have all the manners gone?... and how can we get them back?

I choose MY choice

In today's society, there are a few pretty basic decisions every person will hit in their life if they live until old age.

1) Should I graduate from high school?
2) Should I go to college?
3) If I go to college what will I major in?
4) If I major in that, where will I work?
5) If I decide to work in that field where will I live?
6) If I live there how will that affect my family?
7) Will I get married?
8) If I get married will I have children?
9) If I have children how will I raise them?
10) Where will I live to have my children go to school?
11) When will I retire?
12) If I retire how will I pay for it?
13) Where will I retire.

This is by no means a comprehensive list, but I think it covers some of the big ones. The main thing I'm trying to show is how much of that list happens before you're 25. In my life, I've already had to make decisions on about half of that list. I'm sure I'm not alone in this. The pressure  is insane. It's difficult enough to wonder if you're pleasing yourself, another thing all together if you're taking into consideration the opinion of family or friends--as most of us do.

One person I really admire in this regard is my brother, Dakota. Dakota is so intelligent that he can excel at anything he tries, he's also such a gifted artist that he could easily become a professional. All of us (his family) expected him to go to college, but he said he wasn't interested. We tried to persuade him. He still said no. He wanted to take time to just relax after the rigor of high school. So, he got a job. He is providing for himself. He is a hard worker, and his boss loves having him as an employee. I'm proud of him for that. He stood by what he thought was best for him while everyone else was telling him to do the opposite. Now, it is my time to take a leaf out of Dakota's book.

I started college majoring in animal sciences with the hopes of becoming a large animal veterinarian. I love working with cattle and I assumed this major would utilize my intelligence to its maximum potential while still allowing me to do something I love. I excelled in my first year and a half of college. With a 4.0, campus involvement, and undergraduate research, I was practically guaranteed admission to vet school. But I started feeling a nudge pulling me away from vet school. So, I thought, okay, I really liked AI (artificial insemination). I'll go to school for animal reproduction. Still science. Still cattle. The last semester before I studied abroad, I took animal A&P. I appreciated that class and it's challenges more than any class I have taken as an undergraduate. What really caught my attention was studying the nervous system, particularly when we spoke about how it affects mood and can relate to psychiatric disorders. This was quite a leap from reproduction, but still doable. Many vet schools offer masters degrees in neuroscience. That's a good path for me, I thought. My life was turned upside down when I studied abroad.

The six months I spent in other countries truly affected me in a very deep and meaningful way. I'm not sure whether the experience changed me, or forced me to accept myself as I really am. The longer I spent abroad, the less interested I became in the academic path I was on. By the time I returned to the US, I had no idea what job I wanted to pursue. As a planner, it was very difficult for me not to have a plan. So, I started looking for one.

A couple of weeks ago, after hours of Googling, I found it. A feeling came over me... it was a good feeling of relief as well as purpose. The career I found was "Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse." I feel it fits my personality and skills well, and Ty agrees.

What does this mean for us?

Well, I'll graduate in May with a Bachelors of Science in Animal Sciences and Industry (and honestly, people are technically animals). After graduation, I will start in an accelerated BSN (Bachelors of Science in Nursing) program that will take anywhere for a year to fifteen months to complete. K-State doesn't have a nursing program, so we will have to relocate. Ty will continue his classes online. My fingers are crossed that Tucker will still want to live with us once we move. :)

Making a decisions like this--a change really--is scary. It will affect both my husband and I for the rest of our lives. When changing majors after a bachelors degree, it's easy to feel like I wasted three years of my life on an education I won't use. I have to keep reminding myself that this time in my life has been extremely valuable. I've learned more about animals that I love, I was married, I study abroad, and had so many opportunities through the college of agriculture that I might not have had in another program. Also, I was lucky enough to (finally) discover what I currently think is my calling in life.

Did I get mugged?

This morning, I woke up with a sore, stiff body. I rolled my shoulders and heard a few cracks. I stretched my aching back. I looked down at my arms to see a few bruises... Did I get mugged?

Or did I have the time of my life playing volleyball?

This week has been a really tough week for Ty and I, especially me. I have been busy every night after school with activities or homework, and Ty has been studying, and working diligently as a sales intern. Add to that the stress of an impending graduation and working out, you have a nervous breakdown waiting to happen!

Friday night was a really special night for me. Over the summer I was awarded a scholarship from CHS through the Department of  Agriculture Economics at K-State. To honor the other students who received awards and myself, Farm Bureau in Manhattan, KS hosted a banquet. How boring, right? We all know these things can drag out, have bad food, and even worse jokes. But, I actually had a lot of fun. Both Tucker and Ty came with me and between the lame jokes, we made even lamer ones. Plus, we got to have some pretty great pie.

I mean, who can dislike a K-State Cheese Cake?

The banquet ended at 7:30. Afterwards a man came to speak with me and asked me which "Hoss I belonged to." Apparently he knew my grandpa and told me what great people the Hosses are. That made me really happy.

So, with a belly full of catered food and a smile on my face, I got to thinking about what could make that night better. Tucker told me it was more ice cream, and he tested the theory. haha. But, I thought volleyball! It's by far my favorite sport. Ty and I called up one of our friends we met in Prague, and the three of us went to the Rec.

Usually there's a bunch of people playing games of volleyball and if you ask nicely they'll let you join in on the game. When we went there were three other girls there playing already. They were students at the vet school, really great at volleyball, and very friendly. They asked us to play with them. Soon, three guys showed up and asked to join. Before we knew it, we had five on four and the game was really fun. We played a few matches without keeping score before the first few girls had to get back home to study.

Before hardly any time had passed at all, three more people joined us; two guys and one girl. We were back to where we started. One girl kept score during that game, but to the rest of us, it didn't matter. We were playing a game for fun, score or no score. Time flew by, and before we knew it, it was eleven o'clock. (AKA, wayyyyyy past bedtime!) 

I'm hoping we'll be able to make time for something like this again, and find such wonderful people to play volleyball with, but my body is disagreeing!