Spider Ty

I think I had it more "together" in fifth grade than I do now, because this will be the second time I'm citing my fifth-grade-self in this blog... Back in the good-ol'-days, I decided that I would fix all of my problems with a "happy book." The idea was that every single day I would write down the things that had made me happy that day. And, because I thought it was such a wonderful idea, I bought six spiral ring notebooks, wrote in sharpie marker "My Happy Book" on the front, and wrote a name on the inside cover--one for each of my family members.

I don't know whether  any of my family ever used theirs, but I used mine, for about a month, and then it turned into a diary, which isn't really relevant now, I guess. The idea is that a "happy book" has been proven to be a really powerful tool for increasing mental well-being. 

At 21, I don't keep a diary (unless you consider this blog a diary), and I don't keep a "happy book" either. Maybe, though, I can start with a "happy post" where I list the good things about my day. I'm starting to realize Nashville just might not be my cup of tea, but that doesn't mean that it's a totally stale drink I should toss down the drain. 

Lately, lists seem to be the best way to proceed for me, so I'll start there.

Happy Post

1) Ty and I have a place to live, and a fridge full of food... (Note to self: Buy more ice cream.)

And a husband who humors me by taking pictures of me in church clothes.

2) There are two plane-tickets with our names on it for a flight back home, so we can honor one of the most influential people in my life.

3) I have a great camera, computer, and internet, so I can take awesome pictures, and meet with new people.

4) The Red Cross was so busy with blood donors that they didn't have time to honor my appointment. Okay,,. that's kind of negative, and it really upsets me when people don't honor their word, but I am so glad that people are donating blood--it's a really easy way to save a life!

5) Several people back a K-State have agreed to serve as references for me--I'm going to be applying to an Ag Communications program at Oklahoma State University. This is great because one of these people was so unbelievably understanding about my decision not to attend Vanderbilt. It's always a great feeling when someone so whole-heartedly accepts you for who you are.

Their mascot is Pistol Pete... I wonder if there's room for another mascot that goes by the name of "Rattlesnake Sue"? (AKA the rootin tootinest, snakey-killin'est alter ego there ever was.)

6) I have an interview on Tuesday to be a substitute teacher. I think it is definitely going to be a "glamorous" job, even though Ty insists otherwise.

7) Papi is super cute.

And secretly a sumo wrestler... whaaaa??

8) Netflix, you da' real MVP.

9) Good hair days.

10) A husband who still loves me after I send him pictures like this...

And I suppose people who still read my blog after this picture....

11) Tried my hand at book binding... let's be honest, the first attempt was ugly, but, as Ty said in surprise when I showed him the finished product: "It looks like a book!"

12) Finally played Scrabble against Ty... and won! 

By like 48 points... with the word Qat. Not sure what it means, but I'm guessing it's something like "Kelsie creamed Ty at Scrabble and is never going to let him forget it."

13) A beautiful church to go to on Sundays.

14) Had a "Czech Style" Pilsner the other night. I almost forgot how good beer can taste. :) (Yes, Jesus drank alcohol too.)

15) My husband has gotten several interviews for accounting internships... basically because he's awesome, smart, and looks good in a suit.

"Spider Ty, Spider Ty, does whatever a Spider Ty does." - David Stelting.

Fifteen things in the happy post isn't too shabby. I probably won't write a happy post every day, or every month even, but maybe it will be enough to mentally make a "happy list" from time to time.

Please Grant this Rant

By: Ty Stelting
Sorry regular readers, I have been meaning to write a post for a few days now but here it is; I am now writing one. I would like to say thank you for all the people who do read our stuff and share it. You are what keep me going. So Kelsie and I have been in Nashville for a month and about a week now and I have been desperately needing out of this crazy city ever since…Okay not desperately, but it would be nice to get away from the insanity, because I am slowly becoming a part of it.

We went to a lake (see the pictures below again, in the last post) and the views were amazing and then we went swimming in Cooks Recreational area and that was very busy, but fun. It was a part of the same lake but on the opposite side. It took us about 30 minutes to get there and we had to pay $4 but it was worth it seeing all the kids have fun and soaking some good ol’ vitamin D.

In speaking of pictures, I would like to commend Kelsie in the fact that she has been trying so hard to get her business going, Reminisce. She has made flyers, business cards, releases, and products. She has done photography segments for free on the streets to get some practice. She will be successful the second she gets the opportunity because she truly tries as hard as she can. Here are the pictures she took:

It rained here all day which made my plan to stay lively or get some exercise even harder. I managed to fill out the 20^th job application I have filled out and don’t even get me started on how much time Kelsie has spent on hers. We keep getting interviews but no success and it has really hurt since college was supposed to set you up and give you the relief of, “you have nothing to worry about for your career now!” However, they leave out the part that says “if you already had it lined up before you leave.”

When you come to a new town you basically lose all of your connections and must start over. You still have references but they hardly ever get called. You have nothing but your experiences and I don’t think people can fully appreciate the things we did because they may not fully understand the entire program entailed or “a trip to Washington D.C.” doesn’t sound like a stretch anymore. Kansas standards are not lower but they are different and that perspective to employers gets lost in translation.

We are doing okay though, and we still have interviews and we will make it through. I mean the Prague Blog was full of stories where we faced very difficult times where we slept in an airport or had very tiny amenities. We got lost all the time, missed buses, and waited forever in places. Being lost in Nashville is now not so common for me. I feel as if I can find my way around most places now. It is getting easier to live here.

My classes are great but they have been very difficult, especially tax. The law and stuff is very difficult to follow sometimes. I can’t wait to start auditing and assurance but that is enough about my boring accounting.

I would also like to take a moment to say that we have been a part of a great church and I hope that if someone gets to visit us we can show them how nice it is. They are very involved in the community and I believe they are the most traditional Catholic Church I have ever been to.

 Our time here will improve my driving skills and patience on the road. I hope to get an internship here in the spring because the pay is great and the firms are very sizable. I hope that we do get more out of this experience and I know we won’t know what we really got out of Nashville until we move away from here. I love my wife and dog and as long as I have them, then I can be happy just about anywhere. I feel truly blessed for all that we have.

I hope to be writing more in the future about more activities, we will be heading home in a week. It will be great to get home, I just wish it was under different conditions. I would like to dedicate this post to Margaret Hoss, a wonderful person and dear friend in my life. I love her dearly as she made it apparent what the definition of down-to-Earth was and she was one of the most helpful people I know. She always had great stories and somehow remembered everything except how to pronounce my last name. J She truly made an impact on my life and anyone else that had the pleasure to meet her.

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this 1 month long rant condensed into one blog post.  

Percy Priest and God's Church

Two nights ago, Ty and I ventured out into the wild blue yonder... Okay, well, we ventured south of Nashville--which is basically the same thing--to Percy Priest Lake. We were planning on going swimming, but apparently the parks here close at 7PM. So we just ended up walking around this lake.

I caught this nice view right before the sun was about to go down. I enhanced the picture a little bit so that you can really see how it looked in person.

Then this duck came out, and I just had to get a picture of his dark form against the sunset waters. Even though I'm pretty adamant about how disgusting ducks are, this little guy was very beautiful.

As we walked around, we looked out over the lake, and saw these guys fishing. I thought about how nice it would be to sit on a boat in the middle of a lake, untouched by what's going on around me, waiting for a fish to bite, but not caring whether one did or not. Man, would that be peace and relaxation.

Sometimes I wonder why we build all these fancy churches when we we just have to step outside to worship and admire God's creations. When you appreciate that, the whole world is your church. :)

Flowers

I don't know what to feel, but I'm trying not to stop and think on it for too long. When I do stop and think, it's all a blur of emotions. It's like I stepped into the period between night saying goodbye and dawn saying hello. There's so much confusion. Is the day coming, or is the night?

Someone told me once that people are like flowers, and God only plucks the perfect ones to bring to heaven, and at the time that resonated with me. Of course, people die too young, and that would make sense that they had passed some sort of test already and were so wonderful that they got to go to heaven, but now I know that's all wrong.

My grandma was a beautiful flower. She wasn't perfect; none of us are. She could stand as sturdy as an oak, as flexible as a bow string, as determined as the sun, as mysterious as the midnight sky, as kind as a hot shower after a long day of work, and as reliable as the ground beneath your feet. So when I think that people only get into heaven once they've bloomed, I can't quite agree, because my grandma lived to be 84 years old, and I know for sure that she had been in bloom for quite some time.

So when I stop to think about my grandma, I think about what an amazing person she was to have in my life. We definitely didn't always get along, but you can't get along with someone 100% of the time. I think of how sad it was that she had to suffer before she went to heaven to meet Jesus and to reunite with the rest of her family in heaven. I think that it was good she was able to go quickly enough when her time came and that her suffering didn't last years on end like it could have.

I smile to myself when I think of her first reunion with her family. Grandma was right a lot of the time, and if someone disagreed with her, she had to have an "I told you so" moment. So I imagine her standing next to Grandpa, walking up to her parents who were (understandably) concerned about her marrying a man 22 years older than her and saying, "Look at us now." I don't know why, but that thought just makes me smile and cry at the same time.

I wonder if I'll ever feel like she's watching over me before we get to reunite in heaven. Several of my friends have told stories of times when they've felt like their loved one was speaking to them from the other side. I hope that will happen to me because I already miss her like crazy.

And after those warming thoughts pass through my mind, I inevitably think of all the things that will be different now. I'm afraid of the first time I go back home to Western Kansas, and realize that I won't ever be going to "grandma's house" in the same way again. I won't be greeted with a hug and a smile when I walk through the door, and there won't be my grandma there offering to make me Schwann's chocolate chip cookies or chicken strips. She won't be sitting in her chair, snacking on a small candy bar, ready to talk with me about life, school, or even politics (which we stringently disagreed on about 90% of the time). She won't be there to tell me to go outside after we've been inside watching TV for too long, or encourage my siblings to go help Dad or Wyatt do some work around the ranch.

I won't be able to call her on the phone for a quick, thirty-minute chat, and end up saying goodbye after two hours.

I won't be able to be certain that there's a card coming in the mail for my birthday with some illegible handwriting and some money tucked in. I won't be pleasantly (or unpleasantly, depending on the occasion) surprised when one of her letters comes in the mail.

I won't have her there at my next graduation (if I decide to go back to school). She won't be there to see Ty's and my first child (if we are blessed with one). She won't be able to make the trip to come see our new home, which she had planned on before cancer got in the way.

And then I remind myself that God has his own plan, and that I'm grateful that her suffering came to an early end.

And then I think that it might be another sixty years before I get to see my grandma face to face, and I cry all over again.

And then, in the midst of all the tears, I have the thought that sends me over the edge: I forgot to ask her what her favorite kind of flower was.

The ramblings of a mourner

When you hear about people having cancer,  you can't really understand unless it's happened to someone in your family, at least that's how I felt. I couldn't fathom how suddenly cells in your own body became the enemy. I couldn't fathom how rapidly multiplying cells could be the source of so much pain. I didn't understand how slow and painfully cancer can move, but how quickly it could cause devastation.

I didn't understand any of this until July.

But really, the story begins early this year, when I heard from my Grandmother that she had a small piece of cancer on her ear and that they were cutting it off. It was extremely frustrating because between the first time they spotted it to the time they cut it off, it seemed to take forever. Why were they moving so slowly in cancer was so serious? Maybe because this one wasn't? Time passed, her cancer was cut off, and Grandma was on the mend. No more of that pesky, unfathomable cancer.

For the time being.

Then, in March, Grandma heard from a doctor with (as the story is told) an exceptionally terrible bedside manner, that she had another piece of cancer growing in her throat. I don't know what was going through my grandma's mind at that moment, but something definitely shifted. She didn't trust this doctor--not that she had ever been entirely trusting of doctors before, but this time it was somehow different. Between all of the stories of the poor care that others had received in and around our home town, she was scared. Something I came to understand when I spent some time in the hospital with her.

In July, she was admitted to the hospital in Goodland, Kansas. What's really unfortunate about this story was that it was entirely preventable. Earlier that same day, Gram had gone to a local hospital with one of her daughters. She had been fighting a MRSA infection which is already a huge threat to elderly patients, especially ones already fighting cancer. The infection wasn't getting better, so they had gone to the hospital in the hopes of getting her on an IV antibiotic. The doctor there immediately rejected her idea and sent her home.

That night, Grandma was in so much pain and misery, she called the ambulance to take her to the hospital. She thought she was dying. They took her to a different local hospital, and she was transferred to Hays. Her sodium levels were dangerously low, she had thrush in her mouth, and was still battling the MRSA infection and cancer. The hospitalist took one look at her and ordered IV antibiotics.

I'm still furious that she had to go through all of that when she could have easily been admitted to a hospital near home earlier that same day. I'm not going to pretend that I'm more qualified to know what's what in the medical profession than a doctor that's gone through med school or a PA that's gone through three years of preparation to care for patients, but I am beyond disappointed at the level of care that my grandma received, and it is a definite indicator of the failings of our medical system.

1) The doctor works for the patient. The patient through insurance, payments to the clinic, and even through their taxes helps fund the doctor's salary.

2) The healthcare system now is WAY too involved in CYA. Between the immense amount of paperwork, going to a hospital that accepts your type of insurance, social workers and whatever else, it's become a circus to get care.

3) Transfer of information is so difficult. Gram was in the hospital for days on end waiting for another office to send paperwork over to Hays.

4) The wait times. I understand hospitals are understaffed, but if a hospital is unable to care for patients, we need to change something. Either nurses need to be paid better, or the education needed to become a healthcare worker needs to decrease in favor of apprenticeships. But that all goes back to CYA. Gram would call and ask for pain medication, and it would be upwards of an hour before someone finally got around to bringing it to her.

5) The pride. I'm not saying all healthcare professionals are like this, but I've definitely experienced my fair share of it. Just like Gram going in to get IV antibiotics and not being given them, even though it is what she needed, we've all experienced things like this. I know doctors have gone to extreme amounts of schooling and are well-educated, but no one knows the patient's body better than the patient. And if it's something the patient really wants, what's wrong with humoring them (in a safe manner)?

I guess when I thought about going to school to be a nurse practitioner I kind of balked. Would I be adding to the problem? Would I be able to provide care in a way that I truly thought was best? Would I be able to provide solutions instead of just slapping a bandaid on the problem? And, lastly, would I be able to live with myself if I was the nurse practitioner that had sent a woman home, only to find out that hours later she was granted the same request that I had earlier denied to her detriment? Would I be able to hear people (like I am now) bashing the medical profession and all its flaws?

Probably not.

I think I could have enjoyed working with people and helping heal their various ailments. But my heart's just not there after everything my gram went through, and after all, don't patients deserve to have practitioners that whole-heartedly believe in what they are doing, and have their whole being devoted to improving the patients' lives?

Now I'm rambling. I won't post this on Facebook for tons of people to read, but it you do, I guess, this is my opinion. I don't hate doctors, and I generally think that they are good people that went into the profession to help people, but gosh, this sucks, and I wish things could have been different.

Yoga

You are not a recipe that's a few ingredients short. You don't have to add anything.

-Yoga teacher quotes

I'm-writing-a-blog face.

If that didn't make you giggle, what will?

The five or so of you who read our blog probably have a few questions... I'll surmise what they might be.

1) What the heck is with that first picture?
2)When is Kelsie going to post a blog about their new home?

3) How's school going for Ty?

4) What have they been doing for the last three weeks?

And, I will try to answer those questions.

First question: Current mood.

Second question: Now.

Third question: How's school going for Ty? Wonderfully, I think. He just started on the 24th, and it's been a big adjustment for him. I'm soliciting a new blog post from him, but he's not as inclined to ramble on about his thoughts and feelings as I am.

Fourth Question: What have they been doing for the last three weeks? We left for Nashville on August sixth. What should have been a ten-hour drive took us over twenty-four hours. Why? Well, between bathroom breaks, (for Ty, me, AND, Papi), breakfast/dinner/supper breaks, a flat tire, gas fill ups, a hotel stay, and gridlock traffic, it extended our trip a little bit. 

Week one in Nashville:

Our first few days we spent driving around the town, looking for somewhere to live. We finally did find an apartment that we could afford. (Rent in Nashville is outrageous!) After we signed our lease and moved in, we spent the next couple of days disinfecting every square inch of the apartment. So by the time we were done, we had an absolutely spotless apartment filled with cardboard boxes. (We now just have an apartment filled with boxes.)

Week two in Nashville:

Orientation. This is where I built up to a week-long mental breakdown trying to decide what my calling is. I decide (for the time being) it's not going to Vanderbilt to become a Nurse Practitioner. Still in mental breakdown mode, still trying to decide what my calling is. Starting the job search. Continuing the attempt at making this house a home. I start going to hot yoga. My blood pressure goes way back down to a normal rate.

Successfully held crow for about .239488237 seconds, so there's that. You get a gold star if you can explain why Papi had to leave his ball under my head!

Week three in Nashville:
Thirty job applications later (not an exaggeration), here we are still beating the bushes for jobs. We've slowly tried to venture out and try new things, but we're a little limited until one of us finds a steady job. Ty's gotten work as a temp. Basically, what he does is sit in a model home and wait for people to come through and look at it. He answers the phone too, but it sounds like a pretty cool gig to me.Ty's starting to figure out the lay of the land, and here I am, still getting lost on my way to yoga. I think Ty's a lot better at big city living than I am, but who knows, I learned to love Prague after about a month, so I guess check in next week and see if anything has changed. On the bright side, I've randomly had the chance to practice my Spanish with some of the neighbors.

Here I am pre-interview! If only a good hair day could win me a job. :)

Side note: Ty just walked by and looked at this as I'm writing. Here's how the conversation went:
Ty: What 'cha doin'?
Me: Writing a blog post.
Ty: About what?
Me: What we've been doing the last three weeks.
Ty: And it's that long?
..... So that's about all you need to know.

Anyway, we've done a few things of note.

1) Taken tons of random selfies (commence montage).

I'm-tired-of-moving face.

Walrus-had-a-cavity-and-had-to-have-one-of-its-tusks-pulled face.

I'm-watching-you face.

My-dog's-cuter-than-I-am-and-he's-not-even-trying face.

Does-wearing-my-dad's-twenty-year-old-Gold's-Gym-muscle-tee-make-me-buff face.

I'm-wearing-makeup-for-the-first-time-in-a-week-and-boy-do-I-look-good face.

2) Watched about four seasons of Parks and Rec. (I hope I'm not exaggerating, too.)

I think this one also qualifies under the selfie list.

3) Had a cardboard sword fight with packing materials.

4) Built two new dressers, a couch, and a bookshelf. *Correction* Ty tells me the correct word is "assembled."

5) Went to a park, checked out a melting bird.

It gets REALLY hot in Tennessee.

6) And a diseased bird.

But, really, what's going on with this bird???

7) And some rats masquerading as birds:

Ducks are gross...

8) Went to Cheesecake Factory for the first time in my life.

9) Entered sugar coma that I am just now coming out of.

10) Tried pin curls.

Curly haired win!

11) Tried a Pinterest recipe.

Pumpkin/cream cheese flavored french toast.

12) Reentered sugar coma.

13) Edited a BUNCH of pictures, updated my business's website and blog, sent a package to family. But for real, check out Reminice Visual Narratives on the Website, on Facebook, and Pinterest, and Wordpress.

This kid is so stinkin' adorable.

14) Wrote a new visual narrative about Ty's grandparents. <3

15) Went on a late-night fun run to the Parthenon and White Castle. 

Not really sure which one was better. I can see why Harold and Kumar made a whole movie about those burgers!

16) Started volunteering as a sponsor for people entering the Catholic Church.

I'm-about-to-meet-new-people-...yikes! face.

17) Wrote the first five pages of what is sure to be a best-selling novel.

So... seventeen things in 24 days plus or minus. I know it's not any sort of spectacular adventure, but we're here, and we're just figuring things out baby step by baby step. I'm all about honesty, and I'm not about to say I'm loving this current situation. But, I am thanking God for another day on this earth, another opportunity to learn, an opportunity to support my husband through his education journey, and an opportunity to be patient and let go.

Anyway, thanks for reading, if you've made it this far, and please don't judge me too harshly on my selfie montage... I've been bored. ;)