You might be a college student if...

Here's the low-down.
I get busy.
My house is a mess.
Sometimes I don't respond to emails immediately.
But, what I DON'T need right now is Microsoft Outlook's judgement!

Excuse me?


Okay Microsoft Outlook, I have a special message for you:


And lastly, from the ever-so-wise Mr. Squarepants,

Gnashing our teeth to get to Nashville!

What's black and white and hasn't posted in forever?
Me.
Well, I suppose just the last part is true.
Anywho.
(That rhymed.)
ha.
Wow, I'm rusty.
... Moving on.

When people talk about their last semester of college, it's usually with excitement. They are moving on to new things; they have new jobs, new cars, new degrees to pursue, and so many other new and exciting ventures in their lives that they forget to mention the six month bout of pure busyness that the last semester of college can be.

Basically, the first half of the semester has felt like treading water with massive sandbags tied to our feet. We somehow manage to keep our heads above water--most of the time. I suppose we're just waiting for the graduation ceremony to throw us a life vest and pull us out.

Thankfully Spring Break granted us a brief reprieve from the torrent.

The good news was that this handsome guy with the bright smile made it to the second round of interviews for the Masters of Accounting program at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee. He's kind of a big deal. :) Anyway, being a neat college and all, Vanderbilt paid for Ty to interview there. So, we were off to Nashville! Yee haw!

Incidentally, it takes about 10 hours from Manhattan, Kansas to get there. Being the extremely kind, charitable people that his Stelting grandparents are, they agreed to go with us to Nashville. We took their car, and they drove most of the way... with only a few close calls. ;) Most of our trip was full of great conversation, and beautiful views like the one of the arch above in St. Louis, and other parts were us looking for ways to occupy our time. For example, Ty, pretending to read a map so I could practice taking pictures of him. Hence the picture below.

After 12 hours, a state full of pot-holed interstate (Get your act together, Tennessee!!!), and a night in a hotel by a Latino Supermercado, we arrived!

I got to tour the School of Nursing at Vanderbilt, and the Accounting Program wined and dined Ty while he interviewed.

And, of course, we took advantage of the traditional sights Nashville has to offer.

Here's Ty and his grandparents at the Grand Ole Opry!

We poked some fun at the at&t building... doesn't it look kind of like batman?

Of course we enjoyed some fine dining, but alas, our time in Nashville had  to come to an end, so we packed up our bags and headed to Memphis. Memphis, Tennessee is a neat town split up by a river. We happened to be in West Memphis, which is actually in Arkansas. [Insert overused joke about Arkansas here.] Per Ty's request, we ate some Memphis Barbeque, which is allegedly famous. Per my request, I sang some bars of "Walking in Memphis" until, per Ty's request, I stopped.

However, Memphis was just a stop on our way to Bentonville, Arkansas to visit Ty's aunt, uncle, and cousins. They have a beautiful house on the outskirts of town with a sloping backyard that overlooks a wooded area. It was a great place to spend the night, especially with the great company. Sadly, we couldn't spend more than a night there, so we drove on... well, Grandpa Stelting drove on.

The next stop on our cross-country loop was a small town in Eastern Kansas to visit some Stelting cousins, Don and Pam. When we drove up to their house, I was taken aback. They have a stupendous country home set in rolling hills of waving gold grasses. I'm sure it would be about ten times as beautiful in the summer when everything is green.

We took advantage of the great location and the sunny day by exploring the "wilderness."

I'm not sure what Ty's doing here, but it's cute, so I thought I'd share. :)

And, while nothing can compare to a Western, Kansas sunset, this one was still beautiful. Poor Ty is stuck being my model until I can wrangle someone else into it, so Ty enjoyed the sunset, and I enjoyed having such a handsome model.

... and an athletic model. :)

After around 30 hours in a vehicle, we arrived in our simple apartment in Manhattan, Kansas, and man did it feel good to be back. We relaxed in our dining room, ate some homemade food, and played a round of Golf (the card game, not the actual game).

The next day, we were able to visit Ty's family in Southwest Kansas. Tami and Brian were great hosts as always. Tami provided great conversation, and Brian provided too much delicious double layer pizza. Suffice to say we were full and happy with our time there!

After what had seemed like forever, we drove up to my family's "ranch" in Western Kansas to this beautiful site:

My grandma Hoss with her walking stick enjoying a nice spring morning. You can't see it, but she was surrounded by pasture and new born calves. This sight brought up so many fond memories, and this picture makes me so nostalgic... so I'll interrupt some long spiel about how growing up in the country is the best thing ever and show you a picture of a cow instead. :)

Of course we spent plenty of time with the cattle, my parents, my siblings, my grandma, and even got to see my Aunt Maralee whom I hadn't seen in about a year.

I also made an interesting discovery. In addition to being an attractive dog, perfect pet, and a model pup, Papi was made for the country. I've shared some of the greatest pictures of my dog loving life in the country. Papi basically embodies how I felt about spring break, but in a much more attractive way. :)

The Danger of the Romance Novel

Have you ever read a really good book? The kind where you become a character in the story. Like you can hear, smell, see, and touch the surroundings described to you in the pages? What about a romance novel? Have you been swept off your feet by a brave and daring knight? Or have you been charmed by that awkward kid in braces who eventually grows into a handsome man with an equally dazzling personality? Have you been the girl no one noticed, finally matched with that perfect soul mate who gives you the ultimate combination of intrigue and comfort?

I have.

In fact, romance novels and romantic comedies have always been my book or movie of choice. It’s almost impossible to leave the theater feeling happy after watching a movie like Crazy Stupid Love or When Harry Met Sally, or even the Notebook. A romantic story is adventurous, brave, hope-inducing, and almost always has a happy ending… what’s so wrong with that? I hadn’t given it much thought until I heard this question. “What is porn for women?” Porn is a great divider in many marriages—and let’s face it—is predominantly geared towards men. Men are visual creatures, and because of this, easily fall into the trap of sexy women in a visual fantasy designed for male pleasure. But what do women get off on? Women are emotional beings. We desire deeper connections and relationships. We want to care and be cared for. So the answer to the previous questions is, “The romance novel.” This has been demonstrated by the astounding popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s not like EL James is some prodigal author. The only thing the author has done is play to our culture, and some of our misguided desires.

Our culture views marriage through distorted lenses. If you disagree with me, please feel free to reference the 40 to 50% divorce rate in the United States. Children are taught the wonders of marriage from early on. Every single popular princess story involves a beautiful girl getting married to a prince and living “happily ever after.” Children are taught that getting married to that one perfect man that will satisfy each of their longings. We’re told don’t get married young because your twenties are for being selfish. We’re taught that if it doesn’t work out with someone you can simply divorce them and look for the new solution (a man) to your problem. What we should be telling children is that there is no such thing as a “soul mate.”

Each and every one of us is flawed. There is no way that two flawed people can come together to form a perfect union. It is impossible. God is the only one who can join a couple in a perfect union. This means that He is the most important aspect of marriage. When we recognize we can’t build a “perfect” marriage on our own, it’s much easier to love our spouses for the people they are, instead of the people we wish they could be, or the perfect men they could be as depicted by a novel.

When we read a novel, part of it takes hold in our hearts. We see a man perform a grand gesture, and we think, “Why can’t my husband do that?” Or we hear of a friend’s husband who always brings home flowers, and we think, “Hey, some flowers would be nice.” This hurts us and our marriages. It hurts our future spouses, because they have a fictional character to live up to, and they don’t even know it.

So put those romance novels down. Because even though having someone to do dishes with doesn’t sound good on paper, it makes for a hell of a good life.

Rewarding Children for Participation

"It takes a village to raise a child," that's how the saying goes. And since it takes a village, the village all thinks they can have a say about how to raise children. I've read countless blogs, articles, social media posts all dedicated to raising the perfect child who will never talk back and will not grow up to be a little you-know-what. "Don't spoil them!" they say. "Don't give them too much sugar!" they say. "Don't let them eat GMOs!" they say... and God forbid, "Don't give them medals just for participating!"

Just for a minute, I want to take a second to think back a few years ago to my experience in high school and junior high sports. As a student athlete, I was never bad at sports, but I was never great either. Just like the majority of other students, I went to practice for an hour or more at least five days a week, bought the team tshirt, had my parents make snacks to bring to tournaments, went to all the games whether I was allowed to play or not. Sports was at least a part time job in junior high and seemed like a full-time job in high school. Many times, it was a thankless, overrated, tiring, draining, and depressing job. Other times, I had some of the most fun times I've ever had. So, what was the purpose of all of this?

Athletics, and other extracurricular activities are supposed to be fun. They foster teamwork, team spirit, humility (supposedly), work ethic, and most importantly: life-long health and fitness. So if athletics are so fun and healthy, why are so many children overweight? Why are many kids opting out of participating in sports, or choosing to specialize in only one sport?

In junior high, I ran the 2-mile. Since I was the only one dumb enough to participate at such a young age, I usually got a top-three place at the meet, and was rewarded for my placing... not because I was wonderful at it, but because I was brave enough to train, and eventually race in front of onlookers. In high school, I ran the two mile, and came in dead last every time. What did I get? A pity clap from a few parents at the end of a greuling 17 minutes and 9 seconds, a pat on my back from a coach who had other athletes to attend to, and sore muscles. Guess how long I ran the 2-mile in high school. I raced and performed to the best of my abilities, but myself and the other average, hardworking students saw others excel almost effortlessly. They had natural talent, and were probably working just as hard as we were, but they got all of the glory, and all of the rewards.

Someday, God willing, I will have children of my own, and for that I am scared to death. I am afraid that one day, my child might decide he likes tennis, but be discouraged because he isn't a star athelete. I'm afraid my girl will love to cheerlead, but won't make the cut because she's a little heavy, or doesn't have the right last name. I'm afraid that my children might give up on fun team sports because they were taught that you should only be rewarded for winning, and not for hard work.

It's great to excel at something and to pursue that, but it's even greater to try and maybe even fail at something. I can't imagine something that takes more courage than a young kid trying something that they might not be good at, working hard to improve, and showcasing their effort in front of a society that only cares about you if you win. That is bravery, and that deserves to be rewarded.

College--Where have all the manners gone?

Students are paying more than ever to go to college. In fact, the average rate of tuition in the US has almost tripled since 1980. So with this unwarranted (and by unwarranted, I mean the price has increased faster than the rate of inflation, with little or no improvement in the quality of college education) rise in tuition, my immediate thought is that students would value the item they are buying (education) now more than ever. Surprisingly that doesn't seem to be the case; only 59% of students who started college full time, finished a degree within six years. Why is this? Is college more difficult? Is it because most students are having their parents pay for at least some of their education?

So what does this along with a general decline in American morals and standards mean for the typical college classroom? Well, it means students feel entitled to respect from their professors, without needing to give any respect in return. It means we feel we pay enough to be able to do whatever we want whenever we want. It means, we don't care what we do, because we didn't make the personal investment and therefor won't treasure our education as much as if we had paid for it ourselves. It means... we need to learn a few things about how to act in a college classroom.

1) It is not okay to wear your hat indoors; I'm talking to you, guy in the ten gallon cowboy hat in front of me, blocking my view of the whiteboard.
2) No, you should not chew Copenhagen in class.
3) For that matter, you should not spit your nasty Copenhagen spit into your old Mountain Dew bottle.
4) Yes, your talking to your friends is distracting everyone around you, even if it's a whisper.
5) Leaving your headphones in so you can only halfway pay attention to the lecture is not polite! Especially when you leave "Baby Got Back" on loud enough for the person sitting next to you to hear it.
6) Sitting on the outside of the aisle when there are still plenty of empty seats in the middle of the row is not okay... unless you like having everyone's butt in your face as they climb over you to get to an empty seat.
7) Contrary to popular belief, you shouldn't wear what your wore to bed to class. And yes, we can tell that those crumpled, paint-stained sweat pants are sleep-worthy and comfortable, but your professor dressed up and you owe the same respect.
8) Don't put your dirty shoes on the chair in front of you; someone has to sit there. Classroom does not equal living room!
9) Just because you're allowed to text, doesn't mean that you should.
10) Bullying, gossip, and talking behind someones back didn't suddenly become okay.


There are a lot of great things about my generation... we can turn on a computer without asking for help for one! But, as I'm sitting in class with all of the "bright minds of the future" around me, I have to wonder... where have all the manners gone?... and how can we get them back?

Color-Blind

Why am I so angry?

I'm not angry because some people judge me because of my skin tone. I'm not angry because some people judge me based on my weight. I'm not angry because some people judge me based on my marital status/age. I'm not angry because some people judge me because I'm a woman. I'm not even angry that I can't eat ice cream without getting fat.

I'm angry because society is taking away my color-blindness.

For those of you who interpret things literally, no, I do not see only gray. I see only people. Lately in the news we've been besieged with stories about a young man's death. Michael Brown, from Ferguson, Missouri was shot by a police officer, resulting in his death. Since the tragic incident, I've seen numerous headlines on national papers, K-State's college paper, and Facebook about his death. The hashtag "#ameriKKKa" was even thrown around several times. This was all coming from people angry that he was shot. They weren't angry that a young man was dead. They weren't angry that a young boy was tangled up in crime. They were angry because a white cop shot an unarmed black boy.

(For anyone who disagrees, did you see the national outrage about this case on your Facebook timeline? Or this case? Did you see looting, did you see Barack Obama give a speech about it?)

In light of this situation, there are several things we all need to understand.

1) Racism, or "color vision" is not born, it's created.
When was the last time you've seen a little kid refuse to play with someone because of their skin color? They might not play with another kid because the other kid is smelly, isn't nice, doesn't have the same sense of humor, and so on, but I've never seen a kid--unprompted by adults--say they didn't like another kid because of their color. Children are products of their upbringing. If they are raised to be prejudiced against others for whatever reason, they will be prejudiced against others for whatever reason.

2) Prejudice is not only exercised because of skin color.
People are judged for various reasons. It is not unique to be judged. It is not unique to have someone make an opinion about you because of the way you look. I can guarantee that someone will have an opinion on you for the way you look, dress, act, talk, marry, walk, believe, and so on.

3) Some people are prejudiced.
No one is all good, or all bad. Each of us has undesirable traits that we need to work on. Some people are genuinely racist for whatever reason, and this is WRONG. There's no two ways about it. If you are racist, you are wrong. But, it is also wrong to dislike someone for being fat. I've been made fun of, called names, and have had judgement made about me for my weight. That is not okay either. My point is, there are people everywhere who will find a reason not to like you. Some of these people may have more power than others (like police officers). Yes, police officers are people too. There are police officers who are racist, and there are police officers who are color-blind. They exert more power over society. That does not mean that people are being unfairly represented. It means, that some police officers are downright crappy. (Sorry for the language!) I know that I've probably gotten out of some tickets because I'm a young women, and some men have gotten stuck with some tickets because they're men. Is that okay? Why isn't that a problem? Isn't that a prejudice?

4) Racism can go both ways.
When I'm looking through scholarships, I'm unable to apply for many of them. It's not because I'm unqualified. It's not because I don't have financial need. It's because I'm white. Let me tell you, that feels pretty crappy. My husband experiences even more of this as a white man. He misses out on the scholarships that you can only apply for as a woman. Didn't Martin Luther King Jr. say he wanted people judged on the content of their character? So then, why is it that I can't join a black fraternity or sorority? Why can't I join the black student union? Why can't I apply for black/Hispanic/Asian scholarships? These things should be based on merit and need. Instances such as these only promote color-vision. They don't promote improvement or innovation in society; they take away from it. Personally, I want someone who really needs a scholarship getting it. If someone has better grades, more extracurricular involvement, more need, and more obstacles, I hope they get it, but it can never be fair with this system.

5) Talking about race only spreads racism.

I feel guilty for writing this article. Why? Because when you read this--I'm talking about you Mom and Dad!--you've thought about your skin color. You've thought about the skin colors of others. You've thought about black and white and fat and skinny and male and female. Have you thought about "human?" Have you thought about how horrible it would be for the family of a young boy to lose their son? Have you thought of how terrible it must be for people to feel bullied because of something they have absolutely no control over? Maybe. Maybe not. The less we talk and think about race, the less we talk about the exterior, and the more we start to see people.

I am a person. I am kind, impatient, intelligent, ambitious, opinionated, outspoken, thoughtful, among so many other things. This is how I want to be viewed, and this is how I want to view others. Don't be ashamed of being white or black or yellow or red or brown; don't even think about it! I will not apologize for being white, or so called white-privilege, because for me, it doesn't exist. You are you, fearfully and wonderfully made. I owe it to you and to myself to love like Christ did: unconditionally, so I will fight to remain color-blind despite all this garbage the media is feeding me.

I choose MY choice

In today's society, there are a few pretty basic decisions every person will hit in their life if they live until old age.

1) Should I graduate from high school?
2) Should I go to college?
3) If I go to college what will I major in?
4) If I major in that, where will I work?
5) If I decide to work in that field where will I live?
6) If I live there how will that affect my family?
7) Will I get married?
8) If I get married will I have children?
9) If I have children how will I raise them?
10) Where will I live to have my children go to school?
11) When will I retire?
12) If I retire how will I pay for it?
13) Where will I retire.

This is by no means a comprehensive list, but I think it covers some of the big ones. The main thing I'm trying to show is how much of that list happens before you're 25. In my life, I've already had to make decisions on about half of that list. I'm sure I'm not alone in this. The pressure  is insane. It's difficult enough to wonder if you're pleasing yourself, another thing all together if you're taking into consideration the opinion of family or friends--as most of us do.

One person I really admire in this regard is my brother, Dakota. Dakota is so intelligent that he can excel at anything he tries, he's also such a gifted artist that he could easily become a professional. All of us (his family) expected him to go to college, but he said he wasn't interested. We tried to persuade him. He still said no. He wanted to take time to just relax after the rigor of high school. So, he got a job. He is providing for himself. He is a hard worker, and his boss loves having him as an employee. I'm proud of him for that. He stood by what he thought was best for him while everyone else was telling him to do the opposite. Now, it is my time to take a leaf out of Dakota's book.

I started college majoring in animal sciences with the hopes of becoming a large animal veterinarian. I love working with cattle and I assumed this major would utilize my intelligence to its maximum potential while still allowing me to do something I love. I excelled in my first year and a half of college. With a 4.0, campus involvement, and undergraduate research, I was practically guaranteed admission to vet school. But I started feeling a nudge pulling me away from vet school. So, I thought, okay, I really liked AI (artificial insemination). I'll go to school for animal reproduction. Still science. Still cattle. The last semester before I studied abroad, I took animal A&P. I appreciated that class and it's challenges more than any class I have taken as an undergraduate. What really caught my attention was studying the nervous system, particularly when we spoke about how it affects mood and can relate to psychiatric disorders. This was quite a leap from reproduction, but still doable. Many vet schools offer masters degrees in neuroscience. That's a good path for me, I thought. My life was turned upside down when I studied abroad.

The six months I spent in other countries truly affected me in a very deep and meaningful way. I'm not sure whether the experience changed me, or forced me to accept myself as I really am. The longer I spent abroad, the less interested I became in the academic path I was on. By the time I returned to the US, I had no idea what job I wanted to pursue. As a planner, it was very difficult for me not to have a plan. So, I started looking for one.

A couple of weeks ago, after hours of Googling, I found it. A feeling came over me... it was a good feeling of relief as well as purpose. The career I found was "Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse." I feel it fits my personality and skills well, and Ty agrees.

What does this mean for us?

Well, I'll graduate in May with a Bachelors of Science in Animal Sciences and Industry (and honestly, people are technically animals). After graduation, I will start in an accelerated BSN (Bachelors of Science in Nursing) program that will take anywhere for a year to fifteen months to complete. K-State doesn't have a nursing program, so we will have to relocate. Ty will continue his classes online. My fingers are crossed that Tucker will still want to live with us once we move. :)

Making a decisions like this--a change really--is scary. It will affect both my husband and I for the rest of our lives. When changing majors after a bachelors degree, it's easy to feel like I wasted three years of my life on an education I won't use. I have to keep reminding myself that this time in my life has been extremely valuable. I've learned more about animals that I love, I was married, I study abroad, and had so many opportunities through the college of agriculture that I might not have had in another program. Also, I was lucky enough to (finally) discover what I currently think is my calling in life.