A girl's sitting in the bathroom. She's sixteen. She has hair cut into the latest style framing her face. Earlier that week she was talking with her friends about the latest celeb crush. Now she blinks her eyes several times because she can't believe what she just saw. But clear as day, there it is, those little pink lines, or the smiley face, or whatever it is that gives you an 18-life sentence of parenthood. She's scared to death. There is a small human growing inside of her body that she helped a young man create. What will her parents think? What will her boyfriend/fling/one night stand think? What will her friends think? What will her teachers in school think? What will her boss think? Will they treat her the same? Will she be able to keep a job? Will she be able to provide for the needs of a young, helpless, needy child? Will she be able to fulfill her own needs? How can she do that and finish school? Can her body handle the upcoming months? Can her mind?
A girl's sitting in the bathroom, staring at a small pregnancy test. She is pregnant.
As our country has evolved, teen pregnancy has become taboo. Think of several popular shows over the last 5-10 years: Juno, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, 16 and Pregnant, The Pregnancy Pact, Teen Mom (1 & 2) to name a few. There have been mixed reactions about these shows, however, much of what I've heard about these shows from others has been negative or downright hateful.
Now that I'm married, and out of my teen years, I've thought a lot about what it means to be pregnant. Frankly, the thought of it somehow inspires, scares, disgusts (can we just not think about the whole delivery part?), and awes me all at the same time. Even so, any child entrusted to Ty and me by God would be an absolute gift that I would cherish.
So what inspired all of this commentary? A post I saw online that went something like this:
Jane Doe: "Happy 20th birthday to me! Guess who wasn't a teenager and pregnant."
More than one of my Facebook friends made this post, especially around the time when Teen Mom was getting popular.
So I have to ask these people who condemn teen mothers:
What did you do that was so spectacular? Did you take your birth control pill at the same time every day at the risk of your health? Did you make sure to buy condoms at Walmart? Did you use mirena, or nuvaring, or whatever intrauterine device that is sure to be the topic of some type of lawsuit in a few years? Well, unless you abstained from sex until you were 20 years old, you haven't accomplished anything over a teen mother.
Teen parents have just gotten caught doing something that many other teens were doing.
Let that sink in.
In fact, teen parents have accomplished much more. They've felt and given one of God's most precious gifts: life. They've had to make decisions more difficult than many of us have dreamed of. They've been forced to consider someone's destiny other than their own. Their decisions have made them sacrifice. And, ultimately, their decisions led them to experience a parent's love from a entirely new perspective.
Is this situation ideal? I don't think so. Can it be avoided? Definitely. Do they deserve to be looked down upon/pitied/judged/one-upped/subjected to negative comments from others who also partook in teenaged sex? Absolutely not.
So next time you know of someone young who's starting a family, try to support them and encourage life, instead of demeaning it.
Friday, June 26, 2015
Sunday, June 7, 2015
FOMO....
FOMO.
I hadn't heard of this abbreviation until a few weeks ago, when instead of studying for finals (as I should have been doing) I was cruising the Internet, hopping from one web-article to another, in the hopes of finding something that would spark my interest more than developmental biology had thus far. Surprisingly, it wasn't been that difficult to find something less soul crushing, which is how I landed on an article about FOMO.
Fear
Of
Missing
Out
Fear is a large part of my life. I get vaccinated because I'm afraid of contracting a deadly (preventable) disease. I wear my seat belt, because I'm afraid of being terribly injured in a car accident. I study, partially, because I am afraid of failure. I was afraid to change which career to pursue because I worried about what family would think, or whether my first degree would be a waste. While I'm convinced that I'm in many ways somewhat of an oddity, I have to wonder how many people experience the same fear-driven desires.
This distracting article was titled "7 Reasons to Say 'no' to FOMO" so I clicked on it, to learn more... and to procrastinate studying. It said that "FOMO is the leading contributor to leading an inauthentic life."
Let that sink in... "an inauthentic life." I let the article stay open on my computer for a couple of weeks while I pondered it.
And, because I'm still thinking about what it means to me personally about my life being authentic, I'm going to share the seven reasons:
1) FOMO promotes inauthenticity
2) FOMO makes you prioritize activities over people
3) FOMO is expensive
4) FOMO makes us feel not good enough
5) FOMO promotes self-destructive behavior (impulsive actions)
6) FOMO fuels Social-Media Addiction
7) FOMO is exhausting
And I'll add this eight reason:
8) FOMO promotes "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence syndrome"
Something I'm coming to realize (late, I know) is that lives are like snowflakes: no two are identical. It's ridiculous for me to look at another person and think that his or her life is somehow better than mine. As my good (but scarce) pal, Ben Franklin said, "The only things that are sure in life are death and taxes." So, if that is the case, why have we envisioned certain benchmarks that somehow make for a happy life? (Think huge wedding, marriage, babies, college, career, travel etc.) While these benchmarks are common, they are by no means unique to a happy life (I think). So instead of being worried about missing out, we should be worried about living authentically.
We should be worried about creating and sustaining meaningful relationships, improving ourselves in whichever ways we see fit, growing into more moral and kind people, and investing in a divine relationship with God. So, instead of doing something because you're afraid of missing out, or you're jealous that another person had that experience, say no to FOMO, and do something that makes you better, do something that makes you holy, do something to show other human beings that they are loved and that they are greater than FOMO.
Read the article here.
I hadn't heard of this abbreviation until a few weeks ago, when instead of studying for finals (as I should have been doing) I was cruising the Internet, hopping from one web-article to another, in the hopes of finding something that would spark my interest more than developmental biology had thus far. Surprisingly, it wasn't been that difficult to find something less soul crushing, which is how I landed on an article about FOMO.
Fear
Of
Missing
Out
Fear is a large part of my life. I get vaccinated because I'm afraid of contracting a deadly (preventable) disease. I wear my seat belt, because I'm afraid of being terribly injured in a car accident. I study, partially, because I am afraid of failure. I was afraid to change which career to pursue because I worried about what family would think, or whether my first degree would be a waste. While I'm convinced that I'm in many ways somewhat of an oddity, I have to wonder how many people experience the same fear-driven desires.
This distracting article was titled "7 Reasons to Say 'no' to FOMO" so I clicked on it, to learn more... and to procrastinate studying. It said that "FOMO is the leading contributor to leading an inauthentic life."
Let that sink in... "an inauthentic life." I let the article stay open on my computer for a couple of weeks while I pondered it.
And, because I'm still thinking about what it means to me personally about my life being authentic, I'm going to share the seven reasons:
1) FOMO promotes inauthenticity
2) FOMO makes you prioritize activities over people
3) FOMO is expensive
4) FOMO makes us feel not good enough
5) FOMO promotes self-destructive behavior (impulsive actions)
6) FOMO fuels Social-Media Addiction
7) FOMO is exhausting
And I'll add this eight reason:
8) FOMO promotes "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence syndrome"
Something I'm coming to realize (late, I know) is that lives are like snowflakes: no two are identical. It's ridiculous for me to look at another person and think that his or her life is somehow better than mine. As my good (but scarce) pal, Ben Franklin said, "The only things that are sure in life are death and taxes." So, if that is the case, why have we envisioned certain benchmarks that somehow make for a happy life? (Think huge wedding, marriage, babies, college, career, travel etc.) While these benchmarks are common, they are by no means unique to a happy life (I think). So instead of being worried about missing out, we should be worried about living authentically.
We should be worried about creating and sustaining meaningful relationships, improving ourselves in whichever ways we see fit, growing into more moral and kind people, and investing in a divine relationship with God. So, instead of doing something because you're afraid of missing out, or you're jealous that another person had that experience, say no to FOMO, and do something that makes you better, do something that makes you holy, do something to show other human beings that they are loved and that they are greater than FOMO.
Read the article here.
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