College--Where have all the manners gone?

Students are paying more than ever to go to college. In fact, the average rate of tuition in the US has almost tripled since 1980. So with this unwarranted (and by unwarranted, I mean the price has increased faster than the rate of inflation, with little or no improvement in the quality of college education) rise in tuition, my immediate thought is that students would value the item they are buying (education) now more than ever. Surprisingly that doesn't seem to be the case; only 59% of students who started college full time, finished a degree within six years. Why is this? Is college more difficult? Is it because most students are having their parents pay for at least some of their education?

So what does this along with a general decline in American morals and standards mean for the typical college classroom? Well, it means students feel entitled to respect from their professors, without needing to give any respect in return. It means we feel we pay enough to be able to do whatever we want whenever we want. It means, we don't care what we do, because we didn't make the personal investment and therefor won't treasure our education as much as if we had paid for it ourselves. It means... we need to learn a few things about how to act in a college classroom.

1) It is not okay to wear your hat indoors; I'm talking to you, guy in the ten gallon cowboy hat in front of me, blocking my view of the whiteboard.
2) No, you should not chew Copenhagen in class.
3) For that matter, you should not spit your nasty Copenhagen spit into your old Mountain Dew bottle.
4) Yes, your talking to your friends is distracting everyone around you, even if it's a whisper.
5) Leaving your headphones in so you can only halfway pay attention to the lecture is not polite! Especially when you leave "Baby Got Back" on loud enough for the person sitting next to you to hear it.
6) Sitting on the outside of the aisle when there are still plenty of empty seats in the middle of the row is not okay... unless you like having everyone's butt in your face as they climb over you to get to an empty seat.
7) Contrary to popular belief, you shouldn't wear what your wore to bed to class. And yes, we can tell that those crumpled, paint-stained sweat pants are sleep-worthy and comfortable, but your professor dressed up and you owe the same respect.
8) Don't put your dirty shoes on the chair in front of you; someone has to sit there. Classroom does not equal living room!
9) Just because you're allowed to text, doesn't mean that you should.
10) Bullying, gossip, and talking behind someones back didn't suddenly become okay.


There are a lot of great things about my generation... we can turn on a computer without asking for help for one! But, as I'm sitting in class with all of the "bright minds of the future" around me, I have to wonder... where have all the manners gone?... and how can we get them back?

Color-Blind

Why am I so angry?

I'm not angry because some people judge me because of my skin tone. I'm not angry because some people judge me based on my weight. I'm not angry because some people judge me based on my marital status/age. I'm not angry because some people judge me because I'm a woman. I'm not even angry that I can't eat ice cream without getting fat.

I'm angry because society is taking away my color-blindness.

For those of you who interpret things literally, no, I do not see only gray. I see only people. Lately in the news we've been besieged with stories about a young man's death. Michael Brown, from Ferguson, Missouri was shot by a police officer, resulting in his death. Since the tragic incident, I've seen numerous headlines on national papers, K-State's college paper, and Facebook about his death. The hashtag "#ameriKKKa" was even thrown around several times. This was all coming from people angry that he was shot. They weren't angry that a young man was dead. They weren't angry that a young boy was tangled up in crime. They were angry because a white cop shot an unarmed black boy.

(For anyone who disagrees, did you see the national outrage about this case on your Facebook timeline? Or this case? Did you see looting, did you see Barack Obama give a speech about it?)

In light of this situation, there are several things we all need to understand.

1) Racism, or "color vision" is not born, it's created.
When was the last time you've seen a little kid refuse to play with someone because of their skin color? They might not play with another kid because the other kid is smelly, isn't nice, doesn't have the same sense of humor, and so on, but I've never seen a kid--unprompted by adults--say they didn't like another kid because of their color. Children are products of their upbringing. If they are raised to be prejudiced against others for whatever reason, they will be prejudiced against others for whatever reason.

2) Prejudice is not only exercised because of skin color.
People are judged for various reasons. It is not unique to be judged. It is not unique to have someone make an opinion about you because of the way you look. I can guarantee that someone will have an opinion on you for the way you look, dress, act, talk, marry, walk, believe, and so on.

3) Some people are prejudiced.
No one is all good, or all bad. Each of us has undesirable traits that we need to work on. Some people are genuinely racist for whatever reason, and this is WRONG. There's no two ways about it. If you are racist, you are wrong. But, it is also wrong to dislike someone for being fat. I've been made fun of, called names, and have had judgement made about me for my weight. That is not okay either. My point is, there are people everywhere who will find a reason not to like you. Some of these people may have more power than others (like police officers). Yes, police officers are people too. There are police officers who are racist, and there are police officers who are color-blind. They exert more power over society. That does not mean that people are being unfairly represented. It means, that some police officers are downright crappy. (Sorry for the language!) I know that I've probably gotten out of some tickets because I'm a young women, and some men have gotten stuck with some tickets because they're men. Is that okay? Why isn't that a problem? Isn't that a prejudice?

4) Racism can go both ways.
When I'm looking through scholarships, I'm unable to apply for many of them. It's not because I'm unqualified. It's not because I don't have financial need. It's because I'm white. Let me tell you, that feels pretty crappy. My husband experiences even more of this as a white man. He misses out on the scholarships that you can only apply for as a woman. Didn't Martin Luther King Jr. say he wanted people judged on the content of their character? So then, why is it that I can't join a black fraternity or sorority? Why can't I join the black student union? Why can't I apply for black/Hispanic/Asian scholarships? These things should be based on merit and need. Instances such as these only promote color-vision. They don't promote improvement or innovation in society; they take away from it. Personally, I want someone who really needs a scholarship getting it. If someone has better grades, more extracurricular involvement, more need, and more obstacles, I hope they get it, but it can never be fair with this system.

5) Talking about race only spreads racism.

I feel guilty for writing this article. Why? Because when you read this--I'm talking about you Mom and Dad!--you've thought about your skin color. You've thought about the skin colors of others. You've thought about black and white and fat and skinny and male and female. Have you thought about "human?" Have you thought about how horrible it would be for the family of a young boy to lose their son? Have you thought of how terrible it must be for people to feel bullied because of something they have absolutely no control over? Maybe. Maybe not. The less we talk and think about race, the less we talk about the exterior, and the more we start to see people.

I am a person. I am kind, impatient, intelligent, ambitious, opinionated, outspoken, thoughtful, among so many other things. This is how I want to be viewed, and this is how I want to view others. Don't be ashamed of being white or black or yellow or red or brown; don't even think about it! I will not apologize for being white, or so called white-privilege, because for me, it doesn't exist. You are you, fearfully and wonderfully made. I owe it to you and to myself to love like Christ did: unconditionally, so I will fight to remain color-blind despite all this garbage the media is feeding me.

I choose MY choice

In today's society, there are a few pretty basic decisions every person will hit in their life if they live until old age.

1) Should I graduate from high school?
2) Should I go to college?
3) If I go to college what will I major in?
4) If I major in that, where will I work?
5) If I decide to work in that field where will I live?
6) If I live there how will that affect my family?
7) Will I get married?
8) If I get married will I have children?
9) If I have children how will I raise them?
10) Where will I live to have my children go to school?
11) When will I retire?
12) If I retire how will I pay for it?
13) Where will I retire.

This is by no means a comprehensive list, but I think it covers some of the big ones. The main thing I'm trying to show is how much of that list happens before you're 25. In my life, I've already had to make decisions on about half of that list. I'm sure I'm not alone in this. The pressure  is insane. It's difficult enough to wonder if you're pleasing yourself, another thing all together if you're taking into consideration the opinion of family or friends--as most of us do.

One person I really admire in this regard is my brother, Dakota. Dakota is so intelligent that he can excel at anything he tries, he's also such a gifted artist that he could easily become a professional. All of us (his family) expected him to go to college, but he said he wasn't interested. We tried to persuade him. He still said no. He wanted to take time to just relax after the rigor of high school. So, he got a job. He is providing for himself. He is a hard worker, and his boss loves having him as an employee. I'm proud of him for that. He stood by what he thought was best for him while everyone else was telling him to do the opposite. Now, it is my time to take a leaf out of Dakota's book.

I started college majoring in animal sciences with the hopes of becoming a large animal veterinarian. I love working with cattle and I assumed this major would utilize my intelligence to its maximum potential while still allowing me to do something I love. I excelled in my first year and a half of college. With a 4.0, campus involvement, and undergraduate research, I was practically guaranteed admission to vet school. But I started feeling a nudge pulling me away from vet school. So, I thought, okay, I really liked AI (artificial insemination). I'll go to school for animal reproduction. Still science. Still cattle. The last semester before I studied abroad, I took animal A&P. I appreciated that class and it's challenges more than any class I have taken as an undergraduate. What really caught my attention was studying the nervous system, particularly when we spoke about how it affects mood and can relate to psychiatric disorders. This was quite a leap from reproduction, but still doable. Many vet schools offer masters degrees in neuroscience. That's a good path for me, I thought. My life was turned upside down when I studied abroad.

The six months I spent in other countries truly affected me in a very deep and meaningful way. I'm not sure whether the experience changed me, or forced me to accept myself as I really am. The longer I spent abroad, the less interested I became in the academic path I was on. By the time I returned to the US, I had no idea what job I wanted to pursue. As a planner, it was very difficult for me not to have a plan. So, I started looking for one.

A couple of weeks ago, after hours of Googling, I found it. A feeling came over me... it was a good feeling of relief as well as purpose. The career I found was "Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse." I feel it fits my personality and skills well, and Ty agrees.

What does this mean for us?

Well, I'll graduate in May with a Bachelors of Science in Animal Sciences and Industry (and honestly, people are technically animals). After graduation, I will start in an accelerated BSN (Bachelors of Science in Nursing) program that will take anywhere for a year to fifteen months to complete. K-State doesn't have a nursing program, so we will have to relocate. Ty will continue his classes online. My fingers are crossed that Tucker will still want to live with us once we move. :)

Making a decisions like this--a change really--is scary. It will affect both my husband and I for the rest of our lives. When changing majors after a bachelors degree, it's easy to feel like I wasted three years of my life on an education I won't use. I have to keep reminding myself that this time in my life has been extremely valuable. I've learned more about animals that I love, I was married, I study abroad, and had so many opportunities through the college of agriculture that I might not have had in another program. Also, I was lucky enough to (finally) discover what I currently think is my calling in life.